Saturday, October 11, 2008

Keep The Pussy Happy

I was just rereading my horoscope for this week:
Cancer (June 21-July 22)Use your insecurities in your own favor. You have a few, and they may be stirring you up emotionally. But you also have a depth of commitment to your creative, sexual and spiritual needs, and you're in an unusually honest state about just what those are. Keep telling yourself the truth. Admit what you want every day; go for the feeling of confessing your deepest sentiments to yourself, and every day do one thing devoted to fulfilling them.

Yes, of course I have some insecurities. I'm human. And I've been getting more and more honest about them over the years. It's been way easier to do since I've learned to drop my judgments. So yes, I definitely have my issues even though I consider myself a fairly emotionally mature and stable person. I've done a lot of work on myself over the years and I have learned the power of living in the moment and accepting life as it presents itself to me. I appreciate my ability to take responsibility for myself and allow others to be who they are, respecting their right to make the choices they make. I still go a little nuts now and again, reacting to stress in childish and ego absorbed ways but all in all I think I cope pretty well with my life most of the time.

So as I contemplate this little tidbit of wisdom and advice about using the insecurities that stir me up emotionally, this is what arises for me--

I have an insecurity of sorts that many women share that stems from something that has happened to me more than once. The scenario goes something, but not necessarily exactly, like this. I go on a date with a guy friend, we have sex, spent the night together and then part ways in the morning. After that, the time that lapses before he contacts me again is way too long. Many of my girlfriends have had experiences like this also. When you have this stunt pulled on you when you are young and insecure about your sexuality it can serve to bring up all sorts of insecurities. I've had this happen with adult men.

Now I'm willing to take on full responsibility for this insecurity although insecurity might not be the best word to describe what happens for me. Insecurity is part of it indeed. Insecurity as to me thinking, who is this man I'm getting involved with here? Part of me thinks I'm just having a healthy reaction of annoyance to what I deem as neglect on the part of the man. Because here's what I think is significant for men to understand. When a woman shares sexual energy with you, be it kissing, fucking, or what have you, she wants, and should be (if you want to stay in her good graces) acknowledged for the gift she has given you. And I'm talking about after the fact--but not too long after. It's all in the timing here. Anything less is simply not nice. How did some of these guys miss out on this in their sexual etiquette training anyway? So listen up boyfriends: You've just received a kindhearted gift from the goddess. Shewhobehot has opened herself to you. You've received her grace. Don't disappear and not contact her for days, weeks, months... Phone, email, text, chat or show up in person, no later than the very next day, letting her know that you appreciated the time the two of you spent together. How do you let her know you are appreciative? Well, you say it something like this. "I really appreciate the time we spent together yesterday. Thanks for sharing yourself with me." Very simple. If you want to get fancy, go for it. But simple works just fine. If in the morning light you realize that you don't want to go there with her again, well then say something like "Thank you for sharing yourself with me yesterday" and leave it at that. If your message needs greater explanation either in the moment or at a later date you can then let her know that you are choosing to not share with her in that manner again.

Now I know this may seem a bit sexist to some. And of course a woman is always free to contact the man in this same way. I certainly have and I do. But I'm just saying. I'm just saying because I've been encouraged by my weekly reading to do something that's devoted to confessing and fulfilling my deepest sentiments, and this is one simple little thing that I want that's related to my sexual needs. And I bet it's something that most women want. Also, blogging is one of my creative outlets and it's given me something to write about. I'll also make the point that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is related to my spiritual journey so I've just fed the three birds of my creative, sexual and spiritual needs, with one seed.

This refrain keeps coming to mind that I learned many years ago from a group of smart and sexy, 30/40 year old, polyamorous men who had a whole slew of smart and sexy women by their sides.
"Keep the pussy happy."

7 comments:

R said...

Absolutely! Keep the pussy happy! That's a no brainer! It's utterly fucking rude to engage in the exchange of sexual energy and not call the woman the next day. I don't care if that sounds sexist, I'm old enough to appreciate the fact that men are supposed to be gallant. BUT if the phone don't ring for any reason, it's up to the woman to educate the man that he is falling short.
And I'm all in favor of sexual equality, I think it's equally important to keep the cock happy too, and there's a good argument to be made for the woman to call the man and say, hey that was yummy, but you PUTZ you better fucking call me with something sweet to say next time or all this good stuff is going somewhere else. Consider yourself educated and forwarned.
BTW, I hate that fucking picture though, I mean ewww that tail coming out of her ass, what is THAT all about? I wouldn't want to keep that pussy happy for all the money - wait, right, no more money - I wouldn't want to keep that pussy happy for any reason.
(sorreh, can't help myself)

Buddhapest said...

The Male needs to thank and acknowledge the Pussy for the gifts that have been giving in Love. Never take it for granted. Bow to Yoni and show appreciation for the pleasure it gives.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone want to share such a delicious and intimate, loving
exchange with a beloved then leave them feeling insecure, unappreciated,
confused, doubting or whatever comes up. It`´s just cruel. This man and
many need to get over whatever is in their way and be at least honorable
and kind and sensitive. I mean you were just sharing hearts, souls,
vulnerabilities, bodies, insides.. I am sure you were much more
considerate, attentive, caring ... before the sex. This is an event
between two people-If you`ve gone into your little cave and your own stuff
around it - get over it. Connect! Work through it together. That`s what
it`s all about. Otherwise it really is cruel and crushing. A woman can
bone up and get strong to it - but why? Lets us all be human and take care
of each others hearts as best we can.
Greetings from Germany-Daisy

Adrienne Parker said...

hey r. Yea, it seems a no brainer to me too. As far as the sexist part--I think David Deida speaks to this in his teachings of the masculine and feminine--the yin and yang roles we naturally take on as women and men, being open and receptive and being penetrative and giving. Sorry you don't like the picture thought, I just thought it was kinda cute.

Thanks buddhapest, yoni gives a lot of pleasure and doesn't appreciate being taken for granted.

Hi Daisy, I agree it's a big deal to be sharing your heart, soul and body with another. What an amazing gift. Keeping the communication and connection intact serves to protect the vulnerable heart of each of us.

Gillette said...

I read this yesterday and was too tired to think about it and respond.

The thing that struck me at the time was this dissonance inside me that the guy "should" call me. It's the sexist part that got to me.

But I want the guy to call me, too. I feel unspecial if he doesn't.

So I pondered the possible why's..and the energetic of it for me was that Aphrodite wants her due. I don't think guys have it so much...got more of the spreading the seed thingie when I pondered it...but Aphrodite wants adulation and attention.

Yeah.

逆援助 said...

逆援助所長の研究成果を無料公開。出会う為のノウハウを教えます。
逆援助
逆援助
逆援助

スタビの近況を報告します。
スタビ
スタビ
スタビ

Adrienne Parker said...

Hi Gillette,

I like that, Aphrodite wanting her dues. That's where my comment about Shewhobehot comes from. The Goddess expecting adulation and attention.

I often get this type of attention from men I don't give much more than the time of day to. Well, I get it from my husband too. Definitely from him. But I'm very picky and have usually used lots of discretion in who I choose to share myself with. It's a pretty big deal for me to "put out" so to speak.

So much of this is an odd contemplation for me. Today a friend said "There's nothing worse that giving a guy a blow job and having him blow you off." Ouch.

I've talked to many women who have had this happen. Some women, as young girls, lost their virginity to guys who professed to love them and then disappeared as soon as they had sex with them. This is heartbreaking. Is this part of the whole virgin/slut complex? They pressure their beloved to have sex with them and then if she gives in she is a worthless slut. If she successfully withholds from him, resisting his incessant pleads and loving temptations, he will eventually marry her? That is so sickening.

In my own case, I've never had a man disappear and never show back up. Fortunately. But I have had one stay gone for too long and it was difficult for me to deal with. He eventually had a very sincere apology and along with full understanding that there was no acceptable excuse, he explained his reasons.

Stuff comes up for men too. No doubt. I agree with r too, both in that it's up to the woman to educate the man if he is "falling short" and also the sexual equality part...no reason a woman can't call the can and let him know how yummy he was...but he better be the first to make the phone ring next time!

I think most of us have some (or many) insecurities around sex and many of us behave as teenagers in adult bodies. I think it's important to notice our insecurities and then speak up about them, deal with them as mature adults so we can move on and evolve into serious loving relationships.

And as I mentioned David Deida before, I'll like to study more of his stuff on male and female roles...maybe certain aspects of our genders really yearn and find fulfillment in certain things like being worshiped/adored (called the next day as a confirmation of our specialness) and being received and welcomed in to spread our seed...