
Happy Halloween Everyone, and Happy 50th Birthday Sharon! I'm so excited to go out dancing and partying with all my friends. Chico is such an awesome community!
These stories are a portal to myself. I write for my own pleasure while intending to offer a value to others. I tend to focus on alternative relationship styles but those in more traditionally structured relationships are welcome too. I believe the most significant relationship we have is with ourselves. Discovering self through Another beckons me. Currently, I'm particularly curious about spirituality, sexuality, polyamory, communication, compersion, contemplation, and truthtelling.
Freedom and commitment in the same bed?
Monday night I was interviewed on a New York cable TV show, answering
questions about sexual freedom, true partnership and commitment, multiple
relationships, and how to manage jealousy with artfulness and
heartfulness. Afterward, one of the audience members, a divorce lawyer,
remarked how he appreciated my answers, but in the "real world" things didn't
work like that. He's right, of course. In the "real world," people
continue to suffer greatly around relationships, continue to cheat and lie,
continue to be isolated, and continue to get divorced.If you are tired of trying
to live and love in THAT "real world," we have designed these tele-classes full
of the skills,information, resources and support so you can make YOUR world into
the world of love, sex and intimacy you want most.
She is offering a series of teleseminars titled:
Polyamory 101
Starting a Polyamorous Relationship
Opening Up Your Current Relationship
For more information click here
Unlike the 5 Tyra Banks posts on open marriage below, this one is so funny. Really creative piece. It's 20 minutes and worth the watch.
...I’d say that just based on the situation you’re describing… you’re an
emotional masochist. And that’s not a good thing.That’s not a real psychological
term, of course, and it’s not a BDSM term, either. But you’re engaging in an
unrequited love/lust thing with (someone) who doesn’t return your feelings...And
you’re not even trying to find a woman who might love you back? I call that
emotional masochism, my friend. I will bet you any amount of money that the
situation you're
describing is not going to end in you being happy and
getting what you want.I think you need to work out whatever is so fascinating to
you about this kind of interaction, or else you’re going to keep doing it over
and over. You’re only 25, so nip this in the bud now and learn how to have real
relationships, because whether you're vanilla or kinky or somewhere in between,
being attracted to unavailability is a recipe for frustration and unhappiness.
Jerry picked up Lucinda William's new album 'Little Honey' last night. We have tickets to see her in San Francisco on November 16th. I love this song, 'It's A Real Love.' Tell me how you really want to be loved.
`âshiq hama sâl mast-o roswâ bâdâ
dêwâna-wo shôrîda-wo shaydâ bâdâ
bâ hoshyârî ghuSSa-yé har chêz khwor-êm
chûn mast shod-êm har che bâdâ bâd
--Rumi's original quatrain in Persian
Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy,
absent minded. Someone sober
will worry about things going badly.
Let the lover be.
--Coleman Bark's translation
Let lovers be crazy, disgraceful and wild
Those who fret about such things
Aren't in love.
--Deepak Chopra's translation
Hey, I know she's fairly intense to take at times but actually I think she's pretty funny, encouraging us to laugh at issues that our only other choice is to cry. I've heard some describe her as a despicable human being but think Larry David's Seinfield and Curb Your Enthusiasm--she's a comedian folks. Yes, I know, I've been known to have a very dark sense of humor at times. It works for me. And as grotesque as much of what she puts out there is, there are really people who actually think and behave like this (in real life, rather than on the stage.) This piece here seems appropre in a way that reflects so much of the total stupidity and ignorance we've been seeing in the McCain/Palin campaign.
No matter how well you might think you know your partner. It’s almost impossible to know what they’ll say when you say, “Honey, I’ve been thinking. And what I’ve been thinking is that I want to sleep with other people.” Seems to me, if you can say that to the person you promised to love, honor and cherish until death do you part, you can say ANYTHING to them. And once you can say anything to them, well, it’s a heck of a lot easier to say anything to other people too.
In the immensity of these ranges, at the limit of existence where men may visit
but cannot dwell, life has a new importance...but Mountains are not chivalrous;
one forgets their violence. Indifferently they lash those who venture
among them with snow, rock, wind, cold.--George Schaller, Stones of
Silence
There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in
your soul, ready to be filled. You feel it, don't you?--Rumi
It may seem absurd to believe that a "primitive" culture in the Himalaya has
anything to teach our industrialized society. But our search for a future
that works keeps spiraling back to an ancient connection between ourselves and
the earth, an interconnectedness that ancient cultures have never
abandoned.--Helena Norberg-Hodge
The Waziris are the largest tribe on the frontier, but their state of
civilazation is very low. They are a race or robgbers and murderers, and
the Waziri name is execrated even by the neighboring Mahommedan tribes.
They have been described as being free-born and murderous, hothead and
light-heard, self-respecting but vain. Mahommedans from a settled district
often regard them as utter barbarians.--from the 1911 edition of the
Encyclopedia Britannica
The seeming opposition between life and death is now cut through. do not
thrash or lunge or flee. There is no longer a container or anything to be
contained. All is resolved in dazzling measureless freedom.--from the
Warrior Song of King Gezar
Not hammer-strokes, but dance of the water, sings the pebbles into
perfection.--Rabindranath Tagore
No human, or any living thing, survives long under the eternal sky. The
most beautiful women, the most leaarned men, even Mohammed, who heard Allah's
own voice, all did wither and die. All is temporary. The sky
outlives everything. Even suffering.--Bowa Johar, Balti poet, and
grandfather of Mouzafer Ali
The most dangerous place in the world today, I think you could argue, is the
Indian Subcontinent and the Line of Control in Kashmir.--President Bill clinton,
before leaving Washington on a diplomatic visit to, and peacemaking mission
between, India and Pakistan
Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God
does not change. Patience achieves everything.--Mother Teresa
The time of arithmetic and poetry is past. Nowadays, my brothers, take
your lesson from the Kalshnikov and rocket-propelled grenade.--Graffiti
spray-painted on the courtyard wall of the Korphe School
Nuke 'Em All--Let Allah Sort Them Out.--Bumper sticker seen on cab window of
Ford-F150 pickup truck in Bozeman, Montana
Today in Kabul, clean-shaven men rubbed their faces. An old man with a
newly-rrimmed grey beard danced in the street holding a small tape recorder
blaring music to his ear. The Taliban--who had banned music and ordered
men to wear beards--were gone.--Kathy Gannon, November 13, 2001, reporting for
the Associated Press
As the U.S. confronts Saddam Hussein's regine in Iraq, Greg Mortenson, 45, is
quietly waging his own campaign against Islamic fundamentalist, who often
recruit members through religious schools called madrassas. Mortenson's
approach hinges on the simple idea: that by building secular schools and
helping to promote education--particularly for girls--in the world's most
volatile war zone, support for the Taliban and other extremist sects eventually
will dry up.--Kevin Fedarko, Parade cover story, April 6, 2003
Our earth is wounded. Her oceans and lakes are sick; her rivers are like
running sore; The air is filled with subtle poisons. And the oily smoke of
countless hellish fires blackens the sun. men and women, scattered from
homeland, family, friend, wander desolate and uncertain, scorched by a toxic
sun....In this desert of frightend, blind uncertainty, some take refuge in the
pursuit of power. Some become manipulators of illusion and deceit.
If wisdom and harmony still dwell in this world, as other than a dream lost in
an unopened book, they are hidden in our heartbeat. And it is from our
hearts that we cry out. We cry out and our voices are the single voice of
this wounded earth. Our cries are a great wind across the earth.--From The
Warrior song of King Gezar
When your heart speaks, take good notes.--Judith Campbell
"The visit with my Mom is going fine. Guess what? She is just as obsessed as I
am with the election. Must be something genetic, huh? We're talking about it
incessantly, and we pretty much agree on everything. My sweet little
Southern-lady, deeply-Catholic mother absolutely foams at the mouth when she
talks about Bush and Cheney. She loathes them. And like me, she's also
disappointed in McCain and enraged by Palin. She's already cast her vote for Obama."
...Marriage as we know it is changing. Conservatives would say it’s under attack, under fire. I say it’s just under construction. And hopefully, this fall on Election Day, we can also say it’s under new management. Queer people are at the forefront of the movement to re-define marriage right now, and unfortunately—with typical divide-and-conquer tactics—the Right Wing has pitted queers and polyfolk against one another. Conservative Stanley Kurtz said “Among the likeliest effects of gay marriage is to take us down a slippery slope to legalized polygamy and ‘polyamory.’ Marriage will be transformed into a variety of relationship contracts, linking two, three, or more individuals (however weakly and temporarily) in every conceivable combination of male and female.” As if that is a bad thing? Celebrating more love and more commitments between consenting adults?...Click here for the whole speech.
We need to listen to each other and learn from each other. The polyamory movement can learn a lot from the GLBT movement. The poly community must strive to be an INCLUSIVE community. We cannot turn our backs on poly swingers or solo polyamorists or that one really slutty poly friend we all have. We cannot shrug off monogamous folks who want to be our allies. We need to embrace all those people around us who are challenging monogamy in some way and who believe in the rights of people to protect their relationships, whatever form they take. And we need to find a way to change the climate in this country, by creating community to foster a larger awareness and understanding of multi-love relationships...
...Our society is poised to change dramatically in the next decade. Like other minorities before us, polyamorous people need to come out when it’s safe to do so and educate our loved ones, our neighbors, our doctors and others around us about our lives. We need to tell our stories. I’ve had the privilege to hear the stories of hundreds of people in non-monogamous relationships...We must speak our truths. If we don’t tell the world who we are, people are left to imagine, to fall back on stereotypes, to create fictions which don’t represent us...
...Larry and Joan Constantine took a leap of faith thirty five years ago and started knocking on doors to find others like them. We need to take a cue from them and start busting down some doors of our own. If we join together, support each other, and increase our visibility, we can only get stronger. And we need our strength because WE are at the forefront of those who will redefine love, commitment, and family in this century...
But the foreign delicacies Changazi savored most had names like Hildegund and
Isabella. Despite the fact that the man had a wife and five children stashed at
his home in distant Pindi and a second wife tucked away in a rentd house near
the superintendent of police's office in Skardu, Changazi had spent the tourist
season tucking into a smorgasbord of the female tourists and trekkers who were
arriving in Skardu in ever greater numbers.
Changazi told Mortenson how
he squared is dalliances with his devotion to Islam. Heading to his mosque soon
after another Inge or Aiko wandered into his sights, Changazi petitioned his
mullah for permission to make a muthaa, or temporary marriage. The custom was
still common in parts of Shiite Pakistan, for married men who might face
intervals without the comfort of their wives, fighting in distant wars, or
traveling on an extended trip. But Changazi had been granted a handful of muthaa
already since the climbing season began in May. Better to sanctify the union,
however short-lived, in Allah's sight, Changazi cheerfully explained to
Morenson, than simply to have sex.
Mortenson asked if Balti women whose
husbands were away could also be granted muthaa.
"No, of course not,"
Changazi said, waggling his head at the naivete of Motenson's question, before
offering him a biscotti to dunk in his tea.
Lou Reichardt knew something about suffering for and reaching difficult
goals. His acknowledgment of how tough a path Mortenson was trying to walk
made Mortenson feel that he hadn't failed. He just hadn't completed the
climb. Yet.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.--Persian proverb
Why ponder thus the future to foresee,
and jade they brain to vain perplexity?
Cast off thy care, leave Allah's plans to him--
He formed them all without consulting thee.
Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat
Tell us, if there were one thing we could do for your village, what would it be? "With all respect, Sahib, you have little to teach us in strength and toughness. And we don't envy you your restless spirits. Perhaps we are happier than you? But we would like our children to go to school. Of all the things you have, learning is the one we most desire for our children."
--conversation between Sir Edmund Hillary and Urkien Sherpa,
from Schoolhouse in the Clouds
Greatness is always built on this foundation: the ability to appear, speak and act, as the most common man.
--Sham-ud-din Muhammed Hafiz
Let sorrowful longing dwell in your heart. Never give up, never lose hope. Allah says, "The broken ones are my beloved." Crush your heart. Be broken.
--Shaikh Abu Saeed Abil Kheir,aka Nobody, Son of Nobody
Prayer is better than sleep--from the hazzan, or call to worship
This harsh and splendid land with snow-covered rock mountains, cold-crystal streams, deep forests of cypress, juniper and ash is as much my body as what you see before you here. I cannot be separated from this or from you. Our many hearts have only a single beat.
--from The Warrior Song of King Gezar
Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel.
--hand-lettered sign at the entrance to the Fifth Squadron airbase, Skardu
All my fellow, why license is not deposed on the beautiful eyes of a beautiful lady? They fire at men like a bullet. They cut as surely as the sword.
--graffiti spray-painted on the world's oldest known Buddhist stone-carving,
in Satpara Valley, Baltistan
Cancer (June 21-July 22)Use your insecurities in your own favor. You have a few, and they may be stirring you up emotionally. But you also have a depth of commitment to your creative, sexual and spiritual needs, and you're in an unusually honest state about just what those are. Keep telling yourself the truth. Admit what you want every day; go for the feeling of confessing your deepest sentiments to yourself, and every day do one thing devoted to fulfilling them.
"Keep the pussy happy."