Who Am I? (Six) or These Tastes Of The Divine

What on earth is going
on in Australia? Is
ConFest anything like
Burningman?

There seems to be
a strong connection
between spirituality
and sexually over in
them there woods.
It's just that I'm on this
spiritual/enlightenment
forum with all these
folks from there and
there is sure a lot of
mention about sexual
energy in a way which
is very different than
most spiritual groups
I am aware of.  Am I
reading more into their
comments than is really
there, projecting my own
desires and making meaning where there is none?
Or making A LOT of meaning when there is only a
little?

Ok, I looked ConFest up on Wikipedia and here's
what I found.

Who is this that is making the meaning?  Who is this that fears her thoughts?
It's not that I don't get the connection between sex and enlightenment because
quite frankly, that is a huge part of my path at this time in my life.  But
there seems to be a whole community of "dyading tantrikas" over there, people
who are not afraid of their sexuality--or at least those who are confronting
their sexual energy and are willing to experience the truth of it.

I often feel so isolated in my openness, in my quest for like minded others who
are actually interested in sex as a spiritual path and who are willing to jump
on board for the ride of their lives--opening themselves to experiencing the
truth of sex and love and living in relationship with others.  So many others
here in my hometown, in my little universe, seem so repressed in their sexuality
and relationship styles.  Although I am happy to announce that I have recently
been opening to allow myself to come into contact with more interesting
individuals who are wanting more openness, intimacy and sexual truth in their
lives. And, I'm so happy that my private practice is filling up with these types
of folks also.  I committed awhile back to serving this population and they are
seeking me out and finding me.

I don't hide my path from others and I'm blessed with many good friends who are
beautiful people who accept me to the best of their ability.  I do feel loved.
And yet why is most everyone in my life so hopelessly monogamous?  And I'm not
just speaking about monogamy as to who people are fucking although that is of
course what it means. As I use the M word, I realize that I mean it as
pertaining to a whole lifestyle, a mindset and general way of functioning in the
world.  People tend to be so exclusive with their hearts and their sexuality.
So much privacy and closure.  So much fear, or at least a complacency to live in
a relational box.

I don't mean to get into other people's business and judge their path. We've all
got to find our way and my way isn't necessarily the right way for Another. It's
just that I get lonely sometimes.  A lot of the times. I so appreciate my husband,
along with several sweet friends, my juicy womens' group--all who share so much
openness and truth with me.  I am finding many who are opening to this adventure
of experiencing more than one sexually loving relationship simultaneously, and
that warms my heart and excites my sexual energy center.

How can I express my gratitude?  How can I explain how intertwined my sexuality
and chosen style of creating relationships is with my spiritual path?  I ramble
on and yet...this is so big for me.  My heart throbs and bursts open.  I feel the
energy swirling in my chest and solar plexus.  I yearn for the sweet presence of
Self as I meet the sweet presence of Another.  Sometimes I can hardly stand the
separation until we meet again.  Until we have the opportunity to gaze into one
another's eyes and meet, soul to soul.  I yearn for this.  I seek this always.
And it's only grace that allows me these moments, these tastes of the divine.
This is nothing about sex and everything about sex.