Remember my post on "A Woman's Power," the one about my old friend who saw my article on polyamory and called to proselytize? Well my children let the cat out of the bag yesterday when my youngest daughter disclosed "Mom, my dad is really worked up about your article on polyamory." "Really?" I say. "Your father read my article?" Her father lives in Santa Cruz so her comment struck me as unusual. It seems that I'm not the only one who received a phone call from my old friend. My children's father and her have maintained a friendship over the years and she called him to let him know that I was encouraging people to have "multiple sexual relationships" and to voice her concern over the detrimental effect this could be having on our children. Not that I mind that really. What she thinks of my parental influence is none of my business and even though "encouraging people to have multiple sexual relationships" is not what I do, but I see nothing wrong with that per se so whatever. I encourage people to be open-minded about their personal love style choices and to be honest and responsible whether they choose to be monogamous or non-monogamous. And I was already aware that she had missed the real point of my article so no news there.
But what's got my goat right now is that she is proselytizing to my children in public places. She confronted my eldest daughter in the local natural foods store and insisted on talking about "your mother" and my sexually deviant ways, even after my daughter requested her to stop. She also advised my 24 year old son to beware that he had acquired his 'illicit sexual behavior' from me.
Excuse me? Could someone tell my old friend that her behavior is inappropriate and that I am a mere reflection of her pent up sexual repressions. Please advice her to go get herself laid and experience some of her sexual power before she's a dried up old prune.
8 comments:
Thanks for your comment and it may be the perfect solution but I think I'll keep it personal. Sure you'll understand ;)
Don't know what got deleted, but back here in Jersey, we'd say to someone like that "mind your own fucking business, or I'll bury my fist in your face." Or something equally non-non-violent. ;-)
Tom, The comment was equally as charming as yours, just a tad too personal. Messing with one's kids though just isn't cool. Thanks.
Nope...messing with someone's children like that shows an utter lack of ethics. It's abusive to children to run their parents down behind their backs, let alone in front of them...and it's utterly unacceptable to try to involve them in correcting their parents behavior.
These adults should really know better.
Greenwoman, thanks for visiting. I've been to your Honestly Speaking blog awhile back and I will return. I actually already have you bookmarked. Your interests intrigue me.
Obviously I've triggered some fear button in her and my views on sexual relationships probably threatens the story she is telling herself about her spiritual path and the related celibacy she's taken on.
If she's not gettin any, sure she wants to believe that's a great thing, and I'm willing to accept that it is, for her, if she says it is. Not my business. But she's stickin her nose in my business and I didn't really mind her sharing but she's gone beyond that. If my children weren't adults I'd definitely ask her to back off but they are old enough to do that themselves now. My daughter did.
I'm very glad that they are adults...makes it a little less abusive to them...but only a little. I don't really think it matters that much how old a child is...
I'm sure it still felt terrible to them to be put in that position. Doing that to someone is mean spirited.
Celebacy is a powerful gift to give.
I have had forms of celebacy in my life. It pushed every button I had...mostly the button of my powerful sex drive making me insane...but also some huge shame buttons. I'm sure that you are right in your assessment about this person.
Blessings and I wish you a peaceful resolution to this situation.
Hi again Greenwoman. Yes, it seemed mean-spirited to me, cloaked under the guise of well meaning spiritual concern. Celibacy is powerful I'm sure (from what I've read and had others tell me ;) )although I have to admit that the longest I've gone without sex since I was sixteen years old is maybe six weeks. This was during a time when my husband and I were trying to work some non-monogamous agreement stuff out and I felt his attitude was too controlling and possessive of my sexually. I felt clear that what I shared with him sexually was a gift, not something that belonged to him and although he intellectually was on the same page with me, I didn't feel honored so I stopped having sex with him for awhile.
Anyway, I don't expect to here anymore from her really. I could be wrong but I hope not. Thanks for your support.
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