Saturday, July 30, 2011

My Girl Is Here

An exceptional day.  Love my lovers.  Love loving my lovers.  Life diving into life.  Love diving into love.   One of my lovers just called to tell me what a heart opening experience he had with us this last week.  It was the same for me...for each one of us.

An exceptional weekend.  An exceptional week.  My girl came to be with me.  Cloistered in the house together, receiving a few visitors.  And out and about a bit...thrift stores to inspire our sewing.  Food.  Friends.  Music.  Our boy was here too.  With his girl.  Other family and friends.  Life is diving into me right now.  Love is diving into me.  I am diving into life.  I am diving into love.

Love to sleep, the three of us intertwined.  Too warm to touch but too sweet not to.  Back and forth from side to side, coming together, pushing apart.  To the left and to the right.  I love the close physicality.

The push and pull.  Open and closing.  Separating and coming together.  Fear and love.  Love and fear.

Feeling an outtasortness with K...but not really.  A spot in me that realizes it's out of balance.  Unsure but sure.  Trusting...mostly.  Noticing the edge and trying to stay aware while wanting it to dissipate.  Yearning for the oneness.  Resisting the separation...but not always.  Feeling myself loving him.  Feeling him loving me.  Being the love. Being angry too.   And sad.  Appreciating.  Wondering. Trying to live in the moment without hope or fear.  Allowing what is.  Allowing for what I want too.  Wanting what is.  Wanting him.  Wanting myself.

Missing B.G...

I'm wondering about the whole concept of having a nice fuck buddy.  I've never been able to pull it off...

Really grateful that my husband loves to fuck me.  Loves to make love to me.  Wanting him.  Wanting all my lovers.  Always wanting all my lovers.  Always wanting.

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