Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Depth Of My Being

Today I've been sewing and thinking about sex.  I just finished working on two summer dresses!  I tend to think about sex a lot and today the theme was how connecting sexually with someone is sacred to me. 

I'm not a trained tantrica who can pretty much accept anyone as a spiritual partner and make the energetic heart-genital connection happen. And although I'm very sex positive and horny a lot, I'm not an easy going, friends with benefits, sort of woman--even though I have gone that route a couple of times and it was fun. Mostly I've been quite picky when it comes to sex partners--not purposely really, it's just that I'm sexually attracted to very few men.  What I've learned about myself is that I need to trust someone and my heart needs to be very open to loving them in order for my yoni to want to open and receive them as a lover.  Sharing myself sexually is a spiritual gift, given freely from my heart when the love is there, and when I feel safe that I will be cared for in what I know to be an emotionally and physically vulnerable space for me.  It's not that I'm a particularly high maintenance lover either because basically I'm pretty easy going--but it's true that I do have issues of abandonment.  Sex and unconditional love make a sweet partnership for me because it's a piercing that plunges into the depth of my being.

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