I Am A Convoluted Spiral

Let me see if I can communicate my experience without wrapping my words around into a convoluted and spiral.

Today during walking contemplation I contrasted who I am as compared with what I am. I experienced my who self as this unique me, this one who is present right here, right now. Of course, what I am is present right here, right now also, but my whatness seems to be more generalized and my whoness more specific. Who I am is an individual making the choices I make. I notice that who I am is reflected in what I am aware of. I feel myself in the moment, standing on the launching pad of my future (my whoness's future), and I am fully cognizant of who I am through the noticing of what I am noticing. The fact that I (who I am) have made the choice to notice what I am noticing (this seems to be related to awareness being aware of itself rather than specifically what it is aware of) is what makes the creative force (otherwise known as intention) that is propelling me into my future whoness, conscious. This creative force would still exist of course, even if I wasn't noticing what I'm noticing, but then it would be creation by default, rather than by conscious intention.

I realize that my specific intentions are who I am and that who I am is a choice. It's all tied up in free will, as who I am uses this free will to continuously choose. On the other hand, what I am seems to have no choice, I just am what I am and that's what I am. No choice, just what is. Who I am gets to choose to be that, have this, do this and that. What I am is an intending force. Who I am chooses what to intend. If you want to know who I am, then look at the choices I make. That's me. If you what to know what I am, well...that's the part of me that is the same as you, but who we are just chooses to express ourselves differently.

I am a convoluted spiral.