Workshop Hell

I was trying to sleep in this morning but was forced to pull myself out of bed and my workshop hell nightmare. I guess it was actually a morningmare. I was caught in this cycle of dreaming and waking myself from this horrible situation I kept drifting back into. When I finally got out of bed I was in a stupor, stumbling about half asleep with a sore throat and puffy eyes. Very weird. I had been dreaming that I was a workshop facilitator, totally unprepared and on my own. It seems I had about 20 or so people who had shown up for this workshop and I didn't have a clue as to what I was going to do with them. I was searching for these certain books that held ideas for activities etc. but I kept gathering them and then just as quickly would misplace them again. Many of the participants had brought their children and were depending on them minding their manners and entertaining themselves peacefully and out of the way for the day. They weren't. My workshop space was not in order and I didn't even had a sign in sheet or system to check them in. People had been milling about for a couple of hours and time was wasting away. I was trying to pull them together into an opening circle but they weren't cooperating. They kept leaving to go to the bathroom or deal with a child. One man complained to me about another bringing alcohol. The majority of the participants were men. I was feeling overwhelmed and frantic and I started raising my voice at them in frustration and then doing this little whining crying thing. I wondered what the fuck I was going to do with them for the day. I finally decided that if I could ever get them seated I was first going to have them be silent and meditate for 5 minutes to check in with themselves. Then I decided to do dyad communication with them. It was the only thing I could think of to save the day.

Feelings in dream:

frustrated
anxious
worried
angry
inadequate
annoyed
distressed
impatient
embarrassed
exasperated
irritated
afraid

Let me go with the pseudo feelings in my dream, my perceptions and victim voice of what I thought others were doing to me. I thought I was being overpowered, ignored, disrespected, pressured, diminished, intimidated, unsupported...

I'll be doing some dream work on this one as it's leaving me feeling somewhat baffled.