Charlie

For some reason I've been thinking about my friend Charlie. Charlie died awhile back, maybe 10 years ago now. He was probably about 75 years old at the time and I was hanging out with him when he was around 70 or so. He used to bring me boxes of kiwis for gifts. He had planted them when kiwi farming was so popular in our area and he always had a surplus. My kids loved them. I'd often find them on my doorstep upon returning home but just as often he'd catch me there and I'd invite him in for a visit. I really like Charlie a lot but I was a bit nervous around him. He was obviously sexually attracted to me and I didn't know how to handle it. Back then I was still of the mentality of thinking that old men who directed their sexual energy towards younger women were perverts of a sort. I was 32 years younger than him and that qualified him as a "dirty old man". Regardless though, I knew Charlie was a nice guy and I enjoyed visiting with him and appreciated that we were friends.

Since my visits with Charlie back then I've come to learn a few things. I have a lot more awareness about "dirty old men". I realize growing old is part of the human condition and it's happening far faster than I would like. As old and worn as our bodies may get, we are still the same person. We still have the same desires (ok, the hormones may not be raging like they once did) but we still get horny, still appreciate the beauty of a young man and young woman's body, still need human touch and connection. What's different is that when we look in the mirror we often gasp in surprise at the old person staring back at us. Sheesh, who is that? How did that happen?

Me and my husband have often found ourselves appreciating a young woman's beauty together. I'm not being ageist here as we appreciate older women's beauty also but that's a different story. So we will be appreciating a younger woman and my husband, more so than me is acutely aware that she probably regards him she would her father, or maybe even her grandfather! Ouch. I know that some young women and men have attraction for us older folks but still, that's not usually what is going through their minds when they are watching us. If they are noticing us at all. Often, older people are practically invisible to younger people.

Anyway, when I think back now, to Charlie then, if I could go back in time I'd been way more physically friendly with him. I always gave Charlie nice long extended hugs but if I could do it over again, I'd sit right next to him when we visited. I'd hold his hand and maybe even offer him a back massage. I'd take pleasure in him wanting me sexually, even if I was choosing not to go there with him, I'd support his desires and longing. I'd view him more as an eternal soul with human desires, trapped in an aging body that so many in our youth centric society fail to accommodate with understanding and compassion.