Sufi Masters--
Sufi masters are those whose spirits existed before the world
Before the body they lived many lifetimes
Before seeds went into the ground they harvested wheat
Before there was an ocean they strung pearls
While the great meeting was going on
About bringing human beings into existence
They stood up to their chins in wisdom water
When some of the angels opposed creation
The Sufi Shakes laughed and clapped among themselves
Before materiality they knew what it was like to be trapped inside
matter
Before there was a night sky they saw Saturn
Before wheat grains they tasted bread
With no mind they thought
Immediate intuition to them is the simplest act of consciousness
What to others would be Epiphany
Much of our thought is of the past or the future
They are free of those
Before a mine is dug they judge coins
Before vineyards they know the excitements to come
In July they feel December
In unbroken sunlight they find shade
In Fanaa the state where all objects absolve they recognize
objects
The open sky drinks from their circling cup
The sun wears the gold of their generosity
When two of them meet they are no longer two
They are one and six-hundred-thousand
The ocean waves are their closest likeness
When wind makes from unity the numerous
Self, as a peace rebel has been playing with me. Currently there is an issue up with a friend/acquaintance. I've been part of a women's financial club for five or six years. There has been a steady seven of us for several years and it's been a stable and simple learning/investing experience. We have all enjoyed one another's company, some of us being good friends outside of this particular circle and others of us just connected through the club.
Four of the women decided it was time for them to leave the club. This meant that we needed to sell lots of stock to buy them out. There was some consideration of disbanding the entire club but three of us decided to stay. The work of picking which stocks to sell turned out to be time consuming. There was all sorts of figuring we needed to do in the process. The club has by-laws which we were trying to interpret, meetings with everyone to make decisions and get agreements straight, emails, phone calls, connecting for this and that.
Some agreements were made in ignorance and the consequences weren't fully understood until we were doing the work to finalize the buy out process. When we realized the actual effect of some of the agreements we ended up making some hasty decisions. I say hasty because I realize now that we were trying to complete the process faster than we actually needed to. One of the women seemed to be chomping at the bit for her money and we wanted to get it to her ASAP. We were trying to be professional and efficient. There were several hassles that came up but nothing that was really unpleasant, at least for me.
One of the decisions we made was to lower the club share price from the amount we originally agreed upon. We did this because by the time the stocks were actually sold they had lost value. There was a loss to the club and for those of us calculating the figures, it seemed fair and reasonable to split the loss between all of us. The decision to do this was run across the three of us remaining in the club and one of the women who was leaving. Four women was a majority and we didn't imagine that anyone would have an issue with it anyway. We were wrong.
One of the women is furious. She feels ripped off, taken advantage of, not considered. She has her reasoning, her point of view. She does not want to share the loss between all of us but thinks it should stay with the remaining club members. We agreed to pay her a certain amount and we broke our agreement.
I suppose that there might be a legal right or wrong to our decision. I don't know what that might be and although I'm a little curious, that really isn't the issue for me. I'm fairly certain that what we did was in our legal rights but even if we legally ripped her off, we didn't do so intentionally. We thought what we were doing was fair and that any reasonable person would come to the same conclusion. After the fact, this woman asked me if I were in her position, how would I feel? I think I would feel fine but I'm not her and I'm not in her position so I don't really know. I do know that one of the women who was bought out feels fine with our decision for herself, but she also understands this other woman's point of view.
So, what to do? My peace rebel says to give her what she wants. But is the money all she really wants? Does she want us to understand her point of view? I do. Does she want us to agree with her? I don't. She seems to really have taken on the victim role here but she is not lying down. She is fighting for her survival. I listened to her vent for quite some time, while she referenced her same points and issues over and over. What seemed to calm her down was when I suggested that we all needed to get together and discuss this. She agreed.
Part of me doesn't want to get together with her. I don't want to agree with her and I don't want to give her anymore of my time and energy. My heels are dug in. I'm know how to feel offended too, even though it's a place I really don't care to go much these days, it's like riding a bike. We made an agreement out of ignorance and when we discovered our error we changed it. A majority of the women agreed that the decision was fair--and it is fair by god. I'm the reasonable one here. She is not. I would not want her to take all of the loss, why does she want me to? Fuck her. This is certainly not about the money, at least for me. Or is it? Could it be for her? We are talking about less than $100.00. Part of me is willing to give her the money if that is what she wants, but I'll be sure to let her know that I don't agreed with her when I give her a check in my self-righteousness. I'll hide that attitude though and act gracious...as long as she gets it that I think she is wrong.
My peace rebel wants to hear her out with an open mind, willing to change my own mind. I want to understand her feelings and needs and open-heartedly receive her requests. If it's the money she wants, I wants to give it to her with love and non-attachment whether my mind has changed or not. I don't care, or need her to know what I think, unless of course she asks and really wants to know. I want to connect with her, not the details of her story and I want her to feel good.
But is this really the "right" thing to do? Besides, it is not just my decision at this point anyway. I can certainly do my own part though. I know my ego is in the forefront of this, vying for position with my peace rebel--and ego has more at stake, more to lose. I know better than to trust it completely, to give it full reign. Ego is not all bad and doesn't always make faulty decisions. It works hard to protect me and I appreciate that. But I'm what I'm also getting here is that I don't really trust my peace rebel either. I think it might be some mamby pamby peace-nik that doesn't stick up for what's right, for justice. I don't want to put all my faith into something that will always kowtow to others and allow me to be walked all over. What if it just doesn't have the courage to call a spade a spade. But is that my self-righteous arrogant ego talking?
I can be such a confused person at times. Integration is tough.
2 comments:
That poem is so deep it is hard to take in isn't it. I've never read it or had it read outside a deep space on retreat. It feels like a matter of course from deep retreat space. Now it feels like it bends my brain a little. I feel in my gut its true...but it is also beyond my ken....
It sounds like fair isn't the issue for this person...sounds like she's got some other purpose for the money...a certain amount of money and not having it means she won't get what she wants.
That may or may not be a good reason to give her what she wants.
Its so easy to see money as a sole source of power isn't it? It seems like so many people make it god in their life these days. Scares me when I see people dying over it like we see how with this war.
Perhaps the group could stick with the decision, but agree to loan her the money if she's got herself in a bind....?
I feel so confidant that you'll be able to work it out together. *smiles*
Thanks for stopping by to say hello recently. ((hugs))
Greenwoman, I resonate with different poems at different times. I've had these visions that seem to skim the surface of my understanding of my non-physical self. I want to use the word "viseral" when I recall this understanding. It seems to be an instintual knowing how it is, who and what I truly am and how it all works. I get these weird abstract spiraling visuals of it all too. Anyway this poem takes me to that place. When he mentions the sufi masters and their immediate intuition, that just touches me so deeply. That's the way I understand things. I often get these experiences of truth through the meaning of words that just grab me.
As for our investment club. Well, the woman who is upset is not the same woman who was anxious for her money. Maybe money is the issue but I kinda doubt it. I have a difficult time imagining that the less than $100. less than what she was expecting is what has triggered this in her. But maybe, and whatever. You may be right about giving her what she wants--it may be enough of a reason to give it to her--because she wants it, perceives she needs it, enough to be upset if she doesn't get it.
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