Vulnerability Will Save Us

More Foolsgold.

In chapter 20 Susan says, "It's often difficult for me to know when to stop--talking, thinking, writing, gathering, gluing."

I still often go too far, too long, too much. But I've been catching myself sooner lately, right past the point, and it becomes obvious to me that enough happened awhile back.

The river is within us--T.S. Eliot

And Francisco Alarcon's poem "Drought."

despite dry years
siempre verde inside

Yes, the river is within me. I feel it coursing through my veins. It is always green inside, no matter the drought that often leaves my throat parched. I understand this so much better now. I have an inner retreat and I'm getting more experienced at seeking it out, going to for relief.

I find myself returning again and again to my friend Luisa's word's that Susan quotes. Speaking to kids locked up in juvenile hall she tells them fiercely, "Don't you do anything to get locked up, to jeopardize your freedom." I can feel the loving fierceness in these words and I repeat them to myself. Tears come to my eyes and I read the words again. They are powerful. I see Luisa's face and I miss her. It's been years. She is one gently powerful woman.

Why am I so emotional today? More tears as I read. "The poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote...

it is only our vulnerability that will save us

Maybe when we screw up we create an opening to connect us to others. Especially if we screw up don't run away. Admit it. Try again."

And I remember my friend Patrick's words when he once wrote to me about "exposing the soft underbelly". It's what we are doing here, having human relationships, being vulnerable, caring about others.