Still Juicy

Back from Juicy Women.

Molly likes to stretch out on her yoga ball. She loves the way it opens her yoni. The other day while she was stretching her husband came over and started eating her pussy as she rocked back and forth. They enjoyed this for a good long time and then just as they started fucking a friend showed up at their front door--which they had left open, seeing that they hadn't planned on having sex and weren't expecting any visitors! Molly was mostly out of view although her husband was not after he dropped down, allowing his shirt to cover his genitals. He smiled and said hello to the friend as she returned his greeting and explained she was just picking something up and was quickly on her way.

Lena has been feeling intense sadness, isolation and loneliness. As she told us her story we witnessed her pain and held her in our hearts. By the time group was over she felt much more connected and happy.

Rosemary is on a pretty even keel. She's happy and content with her husband...mostly. She's happy and content with her lover...mostly. She'd like more contact with her lover. More time to relax into their relationship and more time to relax into sex. When they finally do spend time together she is just starting to open up to herself about the same time they are saying good-bye. This makes her edgy and this edginess spills over and interferes with her sexual availability with her husband.

Randi is back, once again with her married lover. They keep breaking up and getting back together, breaking up and getting back together...They are totally in-love and caught up in New Relationship Energy. They are having sex just about everyday and she is having the most incredible orgasms of her life. They want to be together but he doesn't want to deal with the pain of breaking up his 30+ year marriage and all the social consequences he will suffer. Randi is willing to have a polyamorous relationship with him but he can't imagine that. This leaves them sneaking around and cheating.

Pema is still with her guy. Loving him. Confused about where it is all going. Not having her needs met sexually as she is still choosing to be monogamous with him although they are living many hours apart and hardly ever see each other...not that he meets her needs sexually when they are together. She's tired of putting energy out for others, drained, needing to be rejuvenated, loved, filled.

Ana is still in love with her long distance guy and slowly letting him go. He isn't ready to commit to the intensity of their love affair, plus he has an intense sexual issue that he has no clue how to deal with and the timing is simply not good for them to be connecting on a frequent and intimate basis. She is sad over this but is enjoying her life full on. She has another lover who is in a committed relationship with a woman who won't have sex with him so he and Ana are taking their sexual pleasure with each other. She says he is a really nice man who has an awesome cock and beautiful body but that she still needs to teach him a few things about pleasing her.

Wet and Juicy

Met with my juicy women last night.

Lena is still healing her heart over her young boy toy lover who turned out to be more trouble than he was worth (plus he cost her a lot of money.) He was extremely high maintenance, drank too much and didn't fuck her enough. She has also sent her potential internet lover down the highway after he moved across the country due to his on-line infatuation with her that didn't pan out to her liking. He was totally gaga over her, had money he was willing to spend on pleasing her, but reminded her too much of her "suffocating" mother. She is now heading off on a little vacation to be with one of her lovers and his wife for week and then is off to another city to visit with another lover.

Molly is feeling pretty settled down with her husband once again. Things have calmed down for them a lot. She continues to support him financially while he carries out his househusband duties. She swims in the pool after a long day at work while he serves her wine and cooks her dinner. They've been enjoying their sex life again.

Pema says she is actually feeling mostly good and balanced in regards to her relationship with her lover who is back living with his wife for the time being due to financial necessity. At the same time, talking about her situation brought on tears. She's reached her limit on giving (with her adult children as well as her lover) and is needing to be on the receiving end for awhile. While she is still unsatisfied with the dynamics of their sex life, she has established some new personal boundaries within their relationship to take better care of herself. Plus, she is back to whoring again so she has some income that is making it much easier to cope with her life as it now stands.

Randi is back with her married lover. They broke up and had spent 3 weeks apart when the universe threw them back into each others arms. He missed her dreadfully. She was miserable without him. They are seeing each other everyday and fucking like bunnies. She is having the the most incredible orgasms that she's ever experienced in her life. He had originally planned on leaving his wife (who he hasn't had sex with in over 20 years) fairly quickly but when it came right down to it, the fear of dealing with his social network and the supposed reaction of his grown daughter got him very confused and procastinating. Randi is putting thoughts of all this on hold for awhile and is choosing to simply focus on her love for him and the great orgasms she is having.

Rosemary's adventures continue with her husband and her lover although there has been some fall out with her lover from her sharing some of her truth and emotional turmoil. He in turn shared his own emotional turmoil about some things that weren't working for him and they have been trying to sort it out. They are still seeing each other but at his suggestion, not as often. The love is there but some of their wants and needs aren't currently matching up in the way she would prefer. Time will tell how their relationship will evolve. Rosemary feels pretty accepting and willing to find a way that works best for both of them.

Ana is grieving the supposed loss a man she connected with on such a deep level that she had opened to the possibility of combining her life with his and living monogamously. Needless to say, that didn't pan out and the difficulties of their union seem to be insurmountable. With her traveling a lot and him tied up with business and traveling out of the country, he hadn't contacted her for a couple of weeks. She sent him a "pathetic" text. He called her. He loves her. She loves him. It's just not gonna work. In the meantime she had a date with a professional athletic. They had an awesome time but he had the smallest cock she's ever fucked and she realized that size definitely matters to her. Also, Randi hooked her up with a new fuck buddy, a married man with a great body and beautiful cock whose wife hasn't had sex with him in 2 years. She's been enjoying this experience and is looking forward to more.

Juicy Women in Sex, Love, and Relationship

Both my husband and K. have recently asked me about my Juicy Women, missing the lack of an update on my last check in with them. Here ya go guys.

Juicy Women update:

Molly is having sex with her husband again. She was getting over the top horny. They seem to be slowly working on mending their relationship. Sleeping in the same bed again...

Randi is in love with another married man and hoping for a better outcome this time. She's about three months out of the last one. The sex with her new guy has been hot but now they are on a temporary hiatus so he can get on with the business of leaving his wife who hasn't had sex with him for years, with less distraction. This is Randi's idea, not his. They have been friends for years but just recently started being lovers.

Pema is still choosing to be monogamous with her lover who isn't much interested in having sex with her. She admits that it's not much of a problem for her as she is feeling pretty non juicy at this time. Most of her energy is caught up in survival mode, wondering how she will pay the bills. She loves her guy a lot and is pretty much just being in the moment with enjoying this love while many of the other everyday matters of their life and relationship aren't in such great shape. He is gone right now, staying with his wife (yes, he is married also) attending to some family matters and working, working, working as always, trying to make a business deal come to fruition so they will have some time and money to relax into.

Lena continues letting go of her old boyfriend who sucked her emotions and her finances dry. She is experiencing a lot of shame in regards to how much of herself she gave away in order to have the companionship of a man who couldn't meet her.

Ana is off and about on an adventure with her new beau. Is it true love Ana? Ana met this guy online and had a lovely week long rendezvous with him at her place several weeks ago and is now staying with him at his place. This is a long distance relationship and he is very different than any man she's ever been with but they are very spiritually and sexuality in sync. She seems to be enjoying the moments with him and she has dropped sex with her other lovers for this monogamously minded man. So far, so good.

Rosemary is fed up with her perceived happiness being dependent on whether the men in her life are pleasing her in the ways she prefers being attended to. Then again, she is receiving quite a lot of pleasing so she's happy, being the decadent pleasure seeker that she is.

Then there are other women in my life. Here are the stories of a few:

Stella loves and is committed to her sweet boyfriend but is also fed up with monogamy and wants some kinky sex.

Jana is struggling in a relationship, dealing with the "plenty of love but not enough time" aspect of polyamorous relationships.

Laura is crazy jealous of her lover's friendship and affection towards other women and wants to control him. He, as most men (and women) I know, don't take very kindly to, and resist being controlled. She is also not very interested in sex. He is. These things do not bode well for their relationship.

Gina struggles with jealousy and intense control issues while dealing with her husband's attention on his other lover. Their love is strong. Their sex life is almost nil.

Dena has sworn off men after divorcing her cheating husband whom she had refused to have sex with for years.

Missy is pursuing men every which way and they seem to be coming out of the woodwork to date her. She is enjoying having sex with many of them while still hoping to settle down with one of them, sooner than later.

Women in their nakedness. Exposing it all in sex, love, and relationship.

In Love

I was with my juicy women last night. Wow, is stuff ever up for everyone.

Lena wasn't there as she was preparing for the arrival of an out of town lover.

Randi has broken it off with both her married lover and also her female lover of 25 or so years. The long term friendship remains with her girlfriend but the sexual connection is no longer feeling right for her. For the moment she is enjoying the power of her singleness and contemplating what it means to really be "met" in relationship.

Molly's marriage is in turmoil. Divorce is in the air. Lots of pain. Lots of sexual energy and opening to the exciting possibility of other lovers. It's a time of transformation for her and her family.

Ana is going for the gold. After a sexual dry spell she has two sexual partners and another getting to know you, possible deep love connection brewing. She is also engaged in some professional sexual healing work and playing with her sexual power in a women's ritual group. Plus she has us juicy woman to play with and bounce her stuff off of. Of her two current lovers, one is sweet and gentle, eager to please, and attentive to her needs. The other is a hot young stud in an open relationship who can (and does) fuck her silly for hours. She says he's helping to bring out her inner porn star. Her 3rd relationship is long-distance and is developing over the phone. They have met in person only once but will be getting together for a nice long rendezvous soon.

Pema is depressed. She is very, very sad. Her lover is not meeting her needs. He is sweet, he is gentle, he holds her hand. But he is not there for her. She doesn't blame him, but rather the circumstances of their life, things that are out of his control. Out of their control. She is sticking by him through thick and thin. The problem with this is that there has never been any thick. She believes in the potential of thick. There is always potential. I know this. I lived on the possibility of potential for years. She wants him. She wants their relationship to work, wants their love to be given a chance. I don't know what to say to her. There is nothing to say. I don't want her to keep doing this. I want her to let go. Except for the fact that she doesn't want to let go. She wants this and there is nothing else that she wants. So I support her in her dream. I support her in getting what she wants. More than anything else, I want for her what she wants for herself.

As we have entered this new year, I have felt so much hope in my life, in the life of our nation, in the potential of love, that I decided to offer my hope as a gift to Pema, my hope that she will get what she wants in regards to her relationship with this man. I've been hoping that she be given the chance she is seeking. But I'm finding it so hard for me to hold onto this hope. It seems misplaced. It seems a losing battle. A doomed cause and one that I've never believed in, as much as I've believed in her.

And I do believe in her. I know that there is something in this for her and she seems unwilling to let go until she gets it. Or maybe when she finally lets go it will come to her. This something, this it, I speak of can only be love. Which brings me to my sharing with my juicy women regarding my own contemplations on love.

I had a lovely weekend with lover who is my lover. It felt good to have an extended period of time together to make love, talk, sleep, eat, make love, relax, make love...

I've continued in my contemplations on love in regards to the difference between being in love with someone and simply loving someone. I talked about this some with lover who is my lover and he said one of the differences for him was intimacy. When I asked him what he meant by intimacy one of the things he came up with was the level of comfort one experiences with the other. So we discussed intimacy for awhile. Here are some dictionary definitions:

In*ti*ma*cy
a close, familiar and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person
For me this resonates with both loving someone or being in love with someone.

a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.
Again, this works for both love and in love. What strikes me with this definition is the close association; detailed knowledge; and deep understanding. This usually connotes a love that has grown over time. It takes time to have an intimate knowing with another. Sometimes. Not always. Well, of course. Yes and no. For Instance, I think of the incredible intimacy and deep knowing of another that can take place during the contemplation and dyad communication at an Enlightenment Intensive. People bare their souls to their partners who are available for them with open hearts and minds, receiving all that is communicated without judgment or opinion. When this actually happens, an incredibly deep understanding and intimacy with another takes place between virtual strangers. Strangers who become instance lovers. When I first met lover who is not my lover, the instant depth of connection and understanding, the level of intimacy we experienced with one another was awesome. We would share our hearts and gaze into one anothers eyes and go very deep, very fast. In fact, the first time I met him was at a bar with both of us fueled on alcohol and loud music, there was immediately a deep familiarity of intimacy. My soul knew this man and without question loved him. It was love at first sight. Why do I refer to this as in-love rather than simply loving him? I wonder about sexual attraction as a mutual component of this deep connection and understanding that makes me identify myself as being in love.

an amorously familiar act; liberty
Again, both love and in love. Intimacy allows us to take the liberty to behave in a familiar way with another such as to walk up and greet them with a kiss or hug or perhaps lean over and offer them a blow job in car.

sexual intercourse
The connection with sexual intercourse and being in love is obvious. For me, sex doesn't really work unless I love someone. I have no interest in having sex unless I love the person but we know that sex happens lots without love. But actually, now that I say this, I know that lover who is not my lover would dissagree. We have discussed this and he would say that even between drunk strangers who pick each other up in a bar for a one night stand, that there is the intention to create connection and love. I suspect he is right. Nevertheless... But the definition of love is tricky here. I know that I don't have to be in love with someone to want to have sex with them. I haven't had sex with that many men. Relatively speaking of course. I have had sex with men I didn't love but not many...lets see, there have been four of them I think and I fucked each of them once...oh, one of them I fucked twice but it was on the same date. None of these situations worked for me. They were okay, but not very pleasurable really. They were nice enough people and all but without love as the connective force I recieve no real pleasure in simply fucking for the physical sake of fucking. But a girl's gotta try something out to see if it works for her or not. It doesn't work for me.

I have had sex with friends that I feel love for and mostly I'd say this is how all of my being in love relationships have started out--all except with lover who is not my lover. I've either been dating (I'm being liberal with the term dating here) a man and there is a mutual attraction to grow a relationship, so we make love and move on into falling in love from there--or, I've have a friend who I feel loving towards and there is sexual energy up between us so we decide to fuck and it's fun and maybe we want to fuck some more or maybe not but the love and friendship remains about the same as it was because we aren't really interested in taking it into a level of greater intimacy in relationshp--except that it's sweeter because getting naked and sharing in that way tends to bring you closer.

Because I'm polyamorous and because what I'm really seeking at this point in my life is more love and ever increasing intimacy in all of my relationships, my intention is to go for the greatest depth and openness in love whether there is sex involved or not. Not to downplay the sex part because, well, because it is awfully nice. Bottom line is, sex is important. I suppose that what I'm going for is being in-love even though I don't really know what this whole in love thing means. Ultimately though, I'm going for a real relationship with a real person and that means that I'm most interested in whatever is actually real and allowing it to unfold in its most authentic way. Even though I'm playing around with labels in my mind, I'm not really looking to label love or put it into some preconceived box. I'm more about seeking greater freedom in love and expanding myself with its essence rather than trapping it with my any notion I hold about it. I'm most curious about this whole in love thing because I notice that I have a vulnerability around it that most probably relates to my fear of rejection, need for acceptance, and feelings of worthiness versus unworthiness around it. Love and relationships, especially when we throw in sex can be complicated and discombobulating to our comfort level! I say, bring it on!

the quality of being comfortable, warm, or familiar: the intimacy of the room
Lover who is my lover mentioned the aspect of being comfortable in his definition of intimacy (and thereby love). I concur. Even if one enters a relationship by falling in love at first sight, there is something powerful about growing in comfort and familiarity with another that brings a sense of warmth to a relationship over time. I think this comfort level partially related to trust. I'm obviously most comfortable with those I trust. With some people, trust builds slowly. With others, it seems to be almost fully present from the get go.

When I think of trust and comfort with lover who is not my lover it's very interesting. Lover who is my lover asked me if I was in love with lover who is not my lover. I answered, yes, definitely, but also said that I don't trust him as far as I can spit. Ouch. But it's true. In the everyday world of love and relationships, I do not afford him much trust. Trusting him would be silly and pathetic on my part. That makes me sad to say that but it's true. Well, it's my truth of the moment anyway. After all, this man has disappeared from my life for almost nine months now without a word of communication as to what is going on for him, leaving broken dates and promises with me in his wake. But what I do trust in regards to my relationship with him is the love. I've no doubt that if and when I sit with him again and gaze into his eyes, the love and deep connection, the knowing of him as my anam cara, my lover and forever soul friend, as well as my knowing of his intention and desire to be a good man, will be there, is in fact still there between us now, even in the separation. This trust is unshakable.

Jerry and I have had in depth conversations about the trust and comfort in our relationship. In our 16th year of relationship We have certainly had some issues to work through but mostly, we've enjoyed a high level of both of these ingredients from the beginning. He arrived with a few untamed demons , I had a few of my own, and we've created (and mostly slain) a few together. But the strong love we share has always prevailed and gotten us through our tough times. I've never lost sight of that love. I know Jerry well and pretty much know where he is trust worthy and where he is not. Like for instance, to use a benign example, I know not to trust him for most household repairs so it's simpler to not expect that of him and to simply call in a professional. Of course some issues of trust are much closer to my heart but when all is said and done, he is a trustworthy man, a life partner I can depend on and is loyal to me in his love. I think he would say the same of me. We are also exceptionally comfortable together. Life flows easy between us (most of the time) and we enjoy each others company. Our egos don't bump into each other too much or too hard. This comfortability is big for me. I adore New Relationship Energy, but I don't take the peace and comfort of a long term loving relationship for granted. The ease of functioning in a loving relationship that one has sustained over time is a special blessing.

Last night me and my juicy women discussed this whole love versus in-love thing a little. Pema mentioned something that I've been talking about with Jerry. She was describing how there is love and then there is all the things we attach to love. All this stuff that ego identifies with to make meaning of love and to feel safe or unsafe.

Maybe there is just love and this whole concept of being in-love is just a concoction of mind. Maybe all this in-love business is related to the ways I want another to fulfill my desires within the relationship. When I was discussing this with lover who is my lover over the weekend, I asked him if he thought there was any difference between love and in love on the non physical plane. Without our egos, what could be the difference between the two?

And yet, here I am, living with my ego in all its glory and I love the concept of being in-love. Mental masturbation or not, it's very compelling.

My Juicy Women

I love my Juicy Women. Randi finished her sexual history last night and it was an awesome finish. She is such a sweet thang that just oozes sexual energy. She's constantly struggling with her lover, splitting up and getting back together, making passionate love and fighting. She is traveling for a month without him so it will be interesting to see how her story unfolds upon her return and the time they spend apart.

Lena is struggling too, fresh out of a live-in love affair and missing the sex and the companionship. She's feeling nervous and overwhelmed with the prospect of being a single woman on her own, living alone for the winter. We encouraged her to take up the offer of a couple of her long distance relationship lovers to go and visit them after Thanksgiving.

Ana is awesome. Alone, in her power, really juicy and wanting a lover but living the fullness of her life with an abundance of friends and well being.

Molly is appreciating her husband and his willingness to evolve, appreciating all of the beautiful women, a diverse group of good friends who enrich her life.

Pema is taking her life one day at at time, watching it unfold, watching her responses, sitting right smack dab in the middle of her relationships with her lover, her children, and herself. She seems so surrendered to whatever is, that is about to unfold. Open to the possibilities.

Rosemary is aware and grateful for the richness of her life. She struggles with emotions and staying balanced with all that is. She is comitted to creating loving relationships based on freedom--whatever that means.

Drop Jaw

Last night I had meetings with both my women's financial group and Juicy Women. We have a little nest egg built up in the financial group but we couldn't decide if now was the right time to purchase stock, or exactly which stock would be wise to invest in. We are following one company very closely. The juicy women were very juicy. Yummy.



Molly's book has some delays in the publishing right now and she is appreciating how her anger inflames her libido. She is angry at her husband though so her thoughts of sex are not directed towards him. She is enjoying more and more polyamorous thoughts and they talk about it as an option but I doubt that they are anywhere near close to actually taking real steps in that direction.



Lena has moved in with her boyfriend who cooks for her and takes care of all the manly man and fix it up stuff in her life. During our meeting he was preparing her evening meal with plans for a love making session after.



Pema is busy writing up a plan for a solar and wind power business she wants to start and enjoying her returning libido. Her breasts are so tender that she actually took a pregnancy test although even though she bleeds, she doesn't think she ovulates any longer.



Ana is continuing her tantric adventures and has found a new teacher she is excited to be working with.



Rosemary has various issues up in her life including an adult son and his escapades with mental illness. She struggles to help him while protecting herself. She continues her various adventures into polyamory along with her husband and seems pretty happy and settled along with a bit of excitement related to the prospect of taking on a new lover.



And what can I say about Randi? I met her new foreign lover last night. They are really enjoying each other's bodies and fucking like crazy, very in-love. She is still in the midst of sharing her sexual history and all I can really say about her life experiences is wow. Fucking wow! This woman's stories make my jaw drop. I mean drop. What she has been through in her life is just incredible. She is only up to the age of 22 right now and I'm just blown away on so many levels listening to her. She needs to write a book.

Her First Orgasm Arrived...

My Juicy Women's group met tonight. Lot's of NRE energy in the crowd. Randi is head over heels in love/lust/NRE with a married man. Lena's new relationship has hit some tough spots-- one being that her lover has a problem with alcohol. Ana is open and exploring without acting on all of the different sexual offerings that are coming her way. She is pondering the meaning of connection with another in relationship to having sex with them. Pema is enjoying a deeper level of intimacy with her man and has been propositioned with a courtesan position from a new potential female client. Molly's personal sharing at our last meeting about the circumstances surrounding her first meeting her husband and their mutual attraction for one another got her all hot and bothered for him and she shared with us some of the patterns that came up for them surrounding that. Rosemary shared about her current heartbreak and confusion in one of her relationships and offered a contrast/comparison of the reactions of two "other women" in regards to her relationship with "their" men.

Randi started the sharing of her sexual history tonight and described her incredibly young sexualization. This woman had an open heart and throbbing pussy from the time she was tiny. She was molested by her uncle from the ages of 3 to 15 and had various deep love relationships throughout her childhood. Her first orgasm arrived via the stimulation of a dog's tongue and she very quickly learned that peanut butter would keep the beast coming back for more. The family dynamics this woman grew up with make for quite the dramatic tale and I'm so looking forward to the next chapter of her story. Just like all of us, her history has brought her this far on her journey and has helped to create the woman she is today. And believe me, she is one juicy, powerful, and compassionate piece of work.

Juicy Women Bring In The New Year

The Juicy Women gathered last night with Rosemary's husband, as an honored guest. We had decided it would be fun to share lingam massage (hand job) techniques and originally this was to be done with dildos until someone had the bright idea (er, duh) to bring a live male model. Fortunately Rosemary's husband, Germaine, was willing to submit to the ordeal of allowing five (Lena was away on the coast visiting a friend) juicy women to play with his genitals.

We offered our various check in's which were mostly related to holiday activities and the gratification of talking dirty during sex. Germaine offered his open and sacred heart along with his cock and balls.

We cranked the heat up and Germaine got naked before spreading out on a blanket on the floor. We started the lingam massage by circling him, touching and lighting massaging his body. Pema took the lead sharing with us some of the techniques she uses before the cock is hard. Each woman took her turn sitting at his groin, resting his legs over her own with his cock in her hand, practicing technique and offering pleasure.

It was a very sweet night for the Juicy Women and Rosemary's husband seemed very happy indeed. He said he felt honored to oblige. What a beautiful way to bring in the new year. We are truly blessed. Thank you Germaine! Thank you Juicy Women! Do you think our next guest could do yoni massage?

Quite The Day

Wow. Yesterday was quite the day. Up at 7:00 and at work at the college by 8:00. It was a fairly busy day with students although the first of year rush as slowed down a lot. I finished work and then met with a friend at 4:30 for a beer to discuss various topics such as the freedom and creativity that Burningman inspires, polyamory, and jealousy as manipulation. My women's financial group met at 5:30 and we mostly discussed the pros and cons of disbanding. I hope we stay together but I didn't feel as if I had a very strong voice to offer as I haven't been putting much (if any) work into the group myself. I was secretary for the first year and took my job seriously but after than I resigned and just haven't had much to offer since then except appreciation and to research a few stocks here and there and show up for most of the monthly meetings with my investment money. We've been going for almost six years now.

From 6:45 to 9:30 my Juicy Women's group met. The women were pretty darn juicy too. Randi told us about the Summer of Love Fest and her 25 year bi-sexual loving relationship with her good friend. Pema reported how things continue to improve in her relationship with her lover and also of her polyamorous nature and her questions about the complications of living a polyamorous life. Molly is very focused and diligently editing her book. Lena is working on her house and getting some sexual loving from an old friend. She told a sweet story of the altar she has created of various lovers she has had over the years. Ana entertained us with various Burningman stories about public sex, validation, openhearted connections and her own sexual encounters which have followed her back into the default world. I shared a little about some of my Burningman highlights including my tea ceremony and the beautiful Ranger I encountered on the dusty road for a delightful and spontaneous mini make out session. Our check ins lasted so long that Ana only had the chance to share one brief but powerful sexual encounter as part of her sexual history.

Here are some more Burningman pics for you to enjoy.

I couldn't have asked for a better camp or more lovely campmates.

This is the tea room, behind the bikes. There was a yoga ball in there to stretch on and it made a nice space for napping in the afternoon.

A wonderful woman was looking for a camp with energy like ours to gift with this poster. She ended up staying for tea ceremony and also gifted us with some poetic spoken word.
Our address--We were at the corner of F and Eight.

Another view of Peace Camp
I can't remember where this was located but I liked it so snapped a pic.

Juicy Women--Ana's Story

Ana is the honored Juicy Woman for the month of July.

Ana's sexual history really struck me. She got very emotional at one point, angry and sad over how ill prepared young girls are to meet their blossoming womanhood. Her first sexual memory was at around the age of 3 or so, playing with the neighborhood kids. The brother was around her age and his sister, maybe six years old stuck sticks in her butt cheeks. There was no shame or fear about being bad, just curiosity.

She recalled spending the night at a fiend's house and seeing the father walk naked to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was at this time that she first remembers feeling wrong. She was at fault for being awake and seeing what she saw.

She remembers liking to dress in a genderless fashion. Her mom made her wear a dress to school once a week and put barrettes in her hair. She had a hiding place where she would change into her pants and pull her barrettes out. One day the dog followed her to school and when mom came to retrieve the dog, she was busted.

When Ana found bloody pads in the bathroom garbage, wrapped in blue plastic, she opened them and was very curious as to their meaning. She took the pads to her mother, who rather than taking the opportunity to have a heart to heart talk about sex with her young daughter, she gave her a religious book that she thought would explain things. It failed miserably. Then,in 5th grade she saw that a film in school, probably the same one all of us girls were shown back then, with the diagrams of the woman and her fallopian tubes...


Around the age of ten her family moved from California to back east and it was a huge let down from what she had mentally prepared herself for. The original plan had been a move to London and the prospect of this, the excitement she felt was overwhelming for a young girl. But it was not to be. She recalls how her sense of fashion changed on the opposite sides of the continent. She transformed her sense of style and got into dressing sexy with platform shoes, low cut tops, and big loop earrings.

She told us of a date she had with several other boys and girls around the age of ten. They all went to the show together and then partnered off. She said that nothing sexual really happened on this adventure but she thought it naive of her parents just the same. I find myself curious as to her comment about this but I didn't question her. It was around this time that a boy she liked kissed her and she did not like that experience at all.

I loved the part about being late for school and while running up the stairs to her class she experienced her first orgasm. You go girlfriend. She didn't have a clue what had happened to her but it sure felt good.

Her sister was older than her and so there were always a lot of older guys around paying attention to her. She really liked the attention but wasn't sure what to do with it.

Later her family moved back to California and it was very disappointing for her to move back to her hometown but rather than being given the opportunity to reconnect with all of her old friends, they moved onto the opposite side of town and she attended a different school. Later, when she reunited with them in high school after spending so much time apart, it was very awkward for her.

At about the age of twelve Ana was spending the night at her aunt's house, enjoying some very sexual feelings in her sleep. She spread her legs to experience more of the deepening sensations. She awoke to find her cousin at the foot of her bed with his hand up under the covers, exploring her girl bits. He immediately left when she awoke and she was very shaken by this experience. She found herself transported into a strange escape adventure. It was the middle of the night but she had to get out of there. She walked out of the house and immediately saw a neighbor riding by in the dark on his bike. This particular person had many suspicious rumors floating around about his devious behavior. She left the house and started walking--she just had to get away. She headed towards a school where there was a phone booth. She wanted to talk with her mother. She hear noises there that scared her and so she walked on. She walked down the highway, ducking from cars on the side of the road as they drove past. She headed for a truck stop where there was a telephone. She just so much wanted to connect with her mother. When she arrived there, the area was so lit up that she felt vulnerable and unwilling to expose herself. She decided to walk back to her aunt's and go to bed. The next day she didn't tell anyone why she was stacking beer cans in front of her bedroom door in an attempt to keep herself safe. The cousin who had violated her kept asking her what was up, and if she was ok. Fucker. She was able to contact her mother and the next day she was transferred to her grandparents. She really just wanted her mom and to go home.

Later, has Ana matured, she didn't know how to handle it when men noticed her sexually. She remembered once, sitting in the car with her parents and making eye contact with a man. She was just looking and offering nothing more. This man walked over to her and put his hand on the car door handle. Her mother quickly rolled up the window but Ana was "given grief" over what she had done to encourage him.

Guys whistling and noticing her as she rode by them on her bike was unpleasant for her. She learned to quickly flip them of to regain her power.

Then Ana recalled a trip with her father. They were in some foreign country, I don't recall which one. She remembers men goggling her as she walked by with him. Her father ignored the situation and she felt unprotected and unsafe by his response.

To be continued.

Another Juicy Women's Night

Last Tuesday was Juicy Women's Night. Lena is feeling very done with her job and what she is doing in her life right now and is ready for something different. A couple, her poly lovers, are coming to visit her and although she has very little energy to offer them, she looks forward to their visit.

Rosemary spoke about one of her lovers and her on-going struggle with attachment vs non-attachment in the arena of love.

Randi is still celibate and watching herself make shifts with her sexuality. She feels likes she's "acted out" in the past and she's choosing to be more conscious with whom she chooses to partner with at this juncture in her life. She recently ended a NSA long distance, long term, relationship.

Ana just returned from another business trip in the city. She made lots of good contacts and felt very validated by people's reception of her. She was also propositioned by a woman she knows, to become her husband's lover. She is considering it as an option.

Molly recently returned from a rendezvous with an old girlfriend who has always served as a validation and inspiration for her. This time her friend gave her lots of encouragement surrounding a book she has written and she was inspired to dig into it and complete some powerful changes. She is still struggling with some of her fears around money while realizing that she is currently able to do everything she wants to do.

Pema just returned from visiting one of her children and also from a business meeting with her partner. They just drew up the papers to turn her business into a corporation. She says she has let go of the financial dream she has been holding onto with her lover although she is still willing to experience it. She loves her man and doesn't want to "dump" him but has thoughts that she could leave when his money deals come through. She says that the more she releases attachment, the more he focuses on her. She realized that she has been waiting for her money to come through so she can pursue her dream life of "service to others" when all the while, this is the work she is already currently engaged in, caring for her youngest daughter and lover.

Lena started the sharing of her sexual history tonight recalling that her sexual exploration started at a young age. When she was maybe three or four she remembers being outside with the family dog and it licking her genitals. She liked the feeling but was admonished by her mother who was watching from kitchen window, and shook a finger at her. Years later, as a young girl on her period, she was changing a tampon in the bathroom and while allowing the family dog to lick her genitals, it actually bit her. She was injured and bleeding and had to go to her mother for help. She changed the story a bit, protecting herself from her mother and the doctor's judgment by telling them that the dog lunged at her, biting her labia when she pulled out her tampon. They bought her story which was more feasible due to the smell of her blood. Well, the dog did fucking bite her! Unappreciative beast.


Lena loved the sensuous feelings in her body and found that she could facilitate bringing herself to orgasm in a number of ways. She described holding her body in a certain position while exercising and touching her toes. She also stood on her hands in the shower so the water would hit her clitoris in the perfect spot. This woman has ingenuity in her ability to self-pleasure!

Lena remembers being the sex educator for all of her friends. She dragged them all off to Planned Parenthood to them get on birth control and to protect themselves from STDs. She planned the the loss of her virginity, picking a very nice boyfriend and discussing the matter with him beforehand. She described how they would conspire to find the time and place to have sex. He sounded like a near perfect first love for a young girl.

When they graduated high school, all of her friends got together and exchanged gifts. Lena received red satin sheets which made her feel ashamed. Her friends didn't give her the sheets in a mean spirited way but it still hurt her feelings. She was considered a wild and sexually adventurous woman and she had only one steady boyfriend! Now, she said, she would considerate receiving those sheets a compliment but back then this label felt as if she was being harshly judged.

Lena did love sex and had several other lovers in college. She talked about how when she lived in the college dorms there was a curfew. Once out past curfew there was no coming home so she figured she might as well live it up, and she did. Lena wanted to be a good girl but liked sex too much for that. I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach when I think of this. Way too many of us once believed that being a girl good and having sex were mutually exclusive. Good girl = no sex. Bad girl = sex. What did you choose?

She talked about the shame she experienced from having sex with her girlfriend's fiance and other events that placed her into the sexually deviant category. I just want to scream when I think of this box that so many young woman are placed into. A box that many of them willingly place themselves into, accepting their just punishment for liking sex too much.

There was a revealing moment in Lena's narrative when she realized that she had always had a story that her first husband was her second lover. This is after she had already described at least three or four other lovers and then she came to the part where she was meeting him. She was bemused. Lena didn't contemplate this to any depth during our group so I have no idea where she will end up going with this little discrepancy she discovered. But I do think it is not an uncommon phenomena when a person has some unprocessed work to be done on an emotionally charged issue. It's not my place to tell her story but there she was, this juicy, vibrant, horny, young thing who is right in the midst of finding exquisite pleasure and delight in her blossoming sexuality...and lets just say that she is unsupported in her precious exploration. I'll stop here because I'm only imagining.

Life went on and Lena married, had children, and divorced. Later she met a man who she really liked and they started up a sexual relationship. He ended up feeling guilty because they were being sinful (having sex outside of marriage) so he broke it off with her. She continued exploring her sexually and purchased sex toys to pleasure herself. She had various sexual partners, her old boyfriend from high school, a younger man from work who wasn't very kind to her, and others.

I'm anxious to hear more, juicy woman.

Juicy Women and Honesty

I love my Juicy Women's group. We met on Tuesday evening and Molly pulled the Honesty Rune. Does honesty, first with ourselves and then with others, get our juices flowing? I've experienced the truth of this as a resounding YES!

Lena checked in first and she had a bunch of that heavy mother/child stuff going on. It reminded me of the movie "The Namesake" that Jerry and I watched recently. It offered a great representation of that pulling away that children often do when establishing their own identities. Added to this seemingly natural course of separation between parents and their children, it can be exceedingly difficult to hold on to one's self when your child judges you and harbors resentment. Parents are imperfect beings just like everyone else, but children often judge their parents shortcomings much harsher than they would judge their friends and other acquaintances. The parent/child bond is so strong that it can intensify unreasonable expectations and hurt feelings when one or the other doesn't behave in the way we believe they should. Both sides can tend to make meanings that may not be valid. As Lena told her story I felt her pain. Over the years I've been through much of what she is currently experiencing and it's not fun stuff.

Randi is still celibate, it's been over two months now (which she embarrassingly says might not sound like a long time to us but it is for her) and it sounds fairly intense for her, but a positive experience at the same time. It's longer than I've ever gone without sex since I became activity sexual at the age of sixteen. She seems to be monitoring her behavior carefully, and rather than sexually"acting out" as she puts it, she is choosing to decline sexual opportunities because they just aren't the ones to say yes to at this time. Some of her acting out is still manifesting in over eating and she is yearning to be touched.

Pema arrived a bit late as she was out of town on a business/pleasure trip. One of her old clients is bank rolling her new business and she met with him to discuss its progress an also to enjoy one another's company eating yummy food and enjoying a Picasso exhibit at the MOMA. She is enthralled with art. She also mentioned her love for her partner as well as her increasing weariness of the pattern of their relationship.

Ana's been having several interesting experiences with men. She got some of that "no strings attached" (NSA) kissing she was craving. She's also been spending time with another man who on one hand she has no interest in cultivating a sexual relationship with, but on the other hand, is experiencing the intense enjoyment and subtleties of the exchange of sexual energy between them. She also had an interesting experience of hiring several men to work for her, running the show, feeding them, and lapping up their male energy and attention.

Molly shared something that stuck me in this profound way and for the life of me I can't remember what it was. Part of her story was about being in a really good space and then trying to keep herself from devolving into money worries and crankiness, ...I think. Sheesh.

Rosemary completed her sexual history. She talked more about her affair with the one and only woman she has ever fallen in love/lust with, her sexually loving triad with her husband and best friend, and the pleasures of threesomes and foursomes she had participated in. She also gave us an account of her sexual journey into polyamory as the intense spiritual path it has been for her. She spoke of her jealousy and control issues and how she has consciously worked to release herself and her husband from those shackles and how she has demanded the same from him. She spoke of the power of truth in her marriage and it's evolution into allowing privacy (not secrets) with her husband. There was also a brief mention of her toe dipping into BDSM. She is enjoying being whipped. A lot. Says it really helps to get her out of her head. She is living in more sexual freedom and power than she ever has in her life and feeling more than ready to take on some new experiences in the arena of love and sex.

Juicy Women As Revolting Hags

My Juicy Women's Group met again last Tuesday. We had a nice long relaxing check in before Rosemary continued with her sexual history.

Rosemary pulled the Uruz rune for Healing/Strength. Rani read the meaning and entertained us by singing the hymn that went along with the interpretation. This rune is often associated with sexual healing and strength which is apopro for our group. I found the Uruz rune on the internet associated with this picture below of Sheelah-Na-Gig, but the article was written in French which unfortunately I neither speak or read. Sheelah-Na-Gig is the Gatekeeper of the sacred yoni, the hag of birth and death.

Here's a couple more replications of Sheelah-Na-Gig.
Check out this site where I found this:

Trickster Hag, laughing and howling;Then veiled in the mist, silent as \ stone.Gateway and gatekeeper, Guide and challenger, Liminal-dwelling paradoxical crone.

Molly shared the sweet juiciness between her and her husband and I must say that it gave me a sweet smile when I saw them shopping at Trader Joe's and noticed that sweet juiciness oozing out of their togetherness.

Same with Pema--her lover is being more attentive and nurturing and she's excited with the hope that when his business struggles break and he isn't under so much daily stress, she will get to experience what being in relationship with him is really like.

Lena sacrificed a night out with Cindy Sheehan who was visiting Chico, to be with us. She reminded everyone that Mother's Day started as a proclamation of peace by the mothers of the world who were fed up with sending their sons off to war, and she shared this proclamation with us.

Mother's Day Proclamation

Arise, then, women of this day!Arise, all women who have hearts,
Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us
to unlearn All that we have been able to teach them of charity,
mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.
"Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
for a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other
as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress,
not of Caesar, But of God.
In the name of womanhood and humanity,
I earnestly ask That a general congress of women
without limit of nationality May be appointed and held
at someplace deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Ana is still in a vulnerable space, feeling protective while she ends a marriage and opens more to her sexual juiciness. She's realizing more, her inner critic, guised as her spiritual guide with a strict rulebook of the do's and don'ts of how a spiritual person behaves, dresses, etc. She is relishing the support of her sisters while yearning to kiss and kiss and kiss, men.

Rani continues on her current journey of celibacy, abstaining from masturbation and rather just being with self, contemplating if this lack of sexual expression/release has her feeling deprived and thus overly hungry and engaging in emotional eating.

I spoke of my weekly horoscope about following my most intense passion mercilessly, and my introspection at defining exactly what this currently is...I will probably write more about this as I clarify more.

Rosmary picked up on a few stories of childhood love that felt significant to her and then briefly spoke of giving birth to her children as very empowering portals in her life during a time when she otherwise felt very trapped and disempowered. We learned about her eight year relationship with a man who fathered one of her children but never claimed her love. She spoke of her advent into polyamory, and a sexual FMF threesome that left her wanting more of that type of loving. She left us with a glimpse of her declared bi-sexuality, the one woman she fell in love with, and a 5 year triad with her husband and best friend. Awhile back Pema and I were joking about names for our group. A couple of the women had mentioned names with the "G" word, er, that would be as in Goddess and we were not favorable towards going that route. It's not that I don't like Goddesses, after all, I am one myself. I even have my own Goddess name, er, that would be Shewhobehot, Goddess Shewhobehot to those of you who want to push it with me. But the "G" word just sounded too cliche, too "Been that, done there". We've both participated in so many women's groups starting some twenty plus years back, all focused around the Goddess that we wanted something that reflected more of our evolving selves. Pema came up with Revolting Hags and I laughed, saying I would definitely go there before I'd agree on the "G" word. Perhaps Hag is a word we need to reclaim like the word Cunt was with the whole Vagina Monologues thing. I've always done my fair share of revolting as a woman. Doesn't this picture deplict a revolting hag?

Juicy Women #2

Last night my Juicy Women's Group met for the third time and we started off with a short, silent meditation and then did a brief check in of our adventures since we had last met.



One woman shared lots of fun tidbits about her Abraham cruise to the Mexican Riviera with her husband and how she thoroughly enjoyed the trip but has found herself overly tired upon returning and is now recuperating from being sick.


Another is in the midst of the immense busyness and hassles of selling her home and is hoping to perhaps retire and have more leisure time for herself soon.

One is in the middle of starting a blogging website business and has been writing lots. She is waiting for her lover's business stress to break so she can experience what being in relationship with him will really be like when their financial situation has changed.

Another has just returned from a trip overseas where some of her adventures have left her contemplating a stuckness in her sexual attitudes perhaps pertaining to her religious background.

One spoke of her current status of being out of relationship and using the time to work on self-healing. She is feeling very empowered for releasing a steady client who kept crossing her boundaries.

And I mentioned the recent Enlightenment Intensive I attended at the Mt. Baldy Zen Center and the resulting deeper connection with Self and I have been experiencing.

It was Rosemary's turn to share her sexual history. She had lots of funny stories from her childhood about how she expressed her sexuality at a very young age.

She told us about an incident when she was four or fives years old and wanted to show off her yoni. She took off her panties and waited for a car to come by. She then laid down in the middle of the road, facing the car with her legs spread eagled.

I think the thing that impressed me the most was how she climbed to the top of tether ball poles in the middle of the crowded playground at her elementary school--bringing herself to orgasm by the time she reached the top. She would then hang there until it subsided and then slide down, no one the wiser to what her antics were actually about.

The stories she told about the sexual molestation she endured at the hands of her step-brother were not funny.

I could feel the yearning when she shared her seemingly excruciating long wait for the signs of secondary sexual development--breasts, the loss of baby fat, her period. She told us how she would put cotton balls under her tee-shirt and admire the breast-like bumps in the mirror.

We heard about her first boyfriends and her intent to stay a virgin until she was married. She managed her sexual energies by engaging in lots of kissing and dry humping to orgasm. She experienced her first penetrating sex, before marriage, at the age of sixteen.

She talked about the sexual boredom she experienced with her husband after giving birth to her first child. The only way she could handle having sex with him was to close her eyes and fantasize that he was someone else.

She slid over years of a divorce, another husband who was physically abusive, more children, relationships, love, sex.

And then her introduction into polyamory...to be continued in two weeks.

Juicy Women

My new women's group met for the second time tonight. Our first meeting was a few weeks ago when we came together to talk about what we were interested in creating. The consensus was to open up to our sexual selves and experience more juiciness.

So we gathered together, sat in a circle, pulled the rune of trust, drank an aphrodisiac liquor made with damiana, brandy, and chocolate, and started the sharing of our sexual histories.

There are six of us and Pema went first. She talked about her first memories of masturbation and orgasms, sexual fantasies, and the emotionally charged cautionary advice from her mother. She cried over the trauma of being abandoned by her boyfriend directly after opening to her first sexual experience with him. She told us of her numerous sexual partners during her high school years and beyond and then of the many years with her husband and how even though he was the best sexual partner she has ever had, how her anger shut down her desire and attraction for him. She talked about the years after her divorce and various sexual adventures of all kinds...female lovers, group sex, escorting, mistressing, fisting and BDSM. She told us about her tantra training, the various kinds of orgasms she experiences, her ejaculations, polyamorous nature and her current love affair. Many stories, portals to her sexual self. I feel blessed to be such a witness.

I haven't been in a women's group in years. It's juicy and I'm ready for more.