Another Juicy Women's Night

Last Tuesday was Juicy Women's Night. Lena is feeling very done with her job and what she is doing in her life right now and is ready for something different. A couple, her poly lovers, are coming to visit her and although she has very little energy to offer them, she looks forward to their visit.

Rosemary spoke about one of her lovers and her on-going struggle with attachment vs non-attachment in the arena of love.

Randi is still celibate and watching herself make shifts with her sexuality. She feels likes she's "acted out" in the past and she's choosing to be more conscious with whom she chooses to partner with at this juncture in her life. She recently ended a NSA long distance, long term, relationship.

Ana just returned from another business trip in the city. She made lots of good contacts and felt very validated by people's reception of her. She was also propositioned by a woman she knows, to become her husband's lover. She is considering it as an option.

Molly recently returned from a rendezvous with an old girlfriend who has always served as a validation and inspiration for her. This time her friend gave her lots of encouragement surrounding a book she has written and she was inspired to dig into it and complete some powerful changes. She is still struggling with some of her fears around money while realizing that she is currently able to do everything she wants to do.

Pema just returned from visiting one of her children and also from a business meeting with her partner. They just drew up the papers to turn her business into a corporation. She says she has let go of the financial dream she has been holding onto with her lover although she is still willing to experience it. She loves her man and doesn't want to "dump" him but has thoughts that she could leave when his money deals come through. She says that the more she releases attachment, the more he focuses on her. She realized that she has been waiting for her money to come through so she can pursue her dream life of "service to others" when all the while, this is the work she is already currently engaged in, caring for her youngest daughter and lover.

Lena started the sharing of her sexual history tonight recalling that her sexual exploration started at a young age. When she was maybe three or four she remembers being outside with the family dog and it licking her genitals. She liked the feeling but was admonished by her mother who was watching from kitchen window, and shook a finger at her. Years later, as a young girl on her period, she was changing a tampon in the bathroom and while allowing the family dog to lick her genitals, it actually bit her. She was injured and bleeding and had to go to her mother for help. She changed the story a bit, protecting herself from her mother and the doctor's judgment by telling them that the dog lunged at her, biting her labia when she pulled out her tampon. They bought her story which was more feasible due to the smell of her blood. Well, the dog did fucking bite her! Unappreciative beast.


Lena loved the sensuous feelings in her body and found that she could facilitate bringing herself to orgasm in a number of ways. She described holding her body in a certain position while exercising and touching her toes. She also stood on her hands in the shower so the water would hit her clitoris in the perfect spot. This woman has ingenuity in her ability to self-pleasure!

Lena remembers being the sex educator for all of her friends. She dragged them all off to Planned Parenthood to them get on birth control and to protect themselves from STDs. She planned the the loss of her virginity, picking a very nice boyfriend and discussing the matter with him beforehand. She described how they would conspire to find the time and place to have sex. He sounded like a near perfect first love for a young girl.

When they graduated high school, all of her friends got together and exchanged gifts. Lena received red satin sheets which made her feel ashamed. Her friends didn't give her the sheets in a mean spirited way but it still hurt her feelings. She was considered a wild and sexually adventurous woman and she had only one steady boyfriend! Now, she said, she would considerate receiving those sheets a compliment but back then this label felt as if she was being harshly judged.

Lena did love sex and had several other lovers in college. She talked about how when she lived in the college dorms there was a curfew. Once out past curfew there was no coming home so she figured she might as well live it up, and she did. Lena wanted to be a good girl but liked sex too much for that. I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach when I think of this. Way too many of us once believed that being a girl good and having sex were mutually exclusive. Good girl = no sex. Bad girl = sex. What did you choose?

She talked about the shame she experienced from having sex with her girlfriend's fiance and other events that placed her into the sexually deviant category. I just want to scream when I think of this box that so many young woman are placed into. A box that many of them willingly place themselves into, accepting their just punishment for liking sex too much.

There was a revealing moment in Lena's narrative when she realized that she had always had a story that her first husband was her second lover. This is after she had already described at least three or four other lovers and then she came to the part where she was meeting him. She was bemused. Lena didn't contemplate this to any depth during our group so I have no idea where she will end up going with this little discrepancy she discovered. But I do think it is not an uncommon phenomena when a person has some unprocessed work to be done on an emotionally charged issue. It's not my place to tell her story but there she was, this juicy, vibrant, horny, young thing who is right in the midst of finding exquisite pleasure and delight in her blossoming sexuality...and lets just say that she is unsupported in her precious exploration. I'll stop here because I'm only imagining.

Life went on and Lena married, had children, and divorced. Later she met a man who she really liked and they started up a sexual relationship. He ended up feeling guilty because they were being sinful (having sex outside of marriage) so he broke it off with her. She continued exploring her sexually and purchased sex toys to pleasure herself. She had various sexual partners, her old boyfriend from high school, a younger man from work who wasn't very kind to her, and others.

I'm anxious to hear more, juicy woman.