Clock's Breath

This is part 8 of my Foolsgold review. Susan read chapter 24, poppa's ashes, at her book release. I left with tears in my eyes. She gathers with her mother and two brothers to distribute her poppa's ashes. Cremation is taboo in their religious tradition but as her father was an atheist they seek unorthodox ways to honor his life and death. I wonder how my brother, sister and I will honor the unique oddities, the specialness of my mother's life and death after she passes?

In Chapter 25 Susan reflects on the creative act of seeing.

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.--Henri Bergson

Susan offers "elusive poem alchemy" in chapters 26 through 29. She shares her creative relationship with words, mixing dragonflies and haiku, nouns with verbs. I love her bold abandon in word play. She encourages me to create a 5-7-5 haiku. Nothing comes.

In Chapter 30 Susan brings word magic to Severely Emotionally Disabled (SED) kids and offers us Robert Bly as paraphrased by Rob Brezsny:

You came into this world as a radiant package of cosmic wonders, as an unspeakably sublime bolt of primordial resonance, as a barely coalesced jumble of blinding beauty--and all your parents wanted was a good little girl or good little boy.

Isn't that the fucking truth?

She is working with these SED kids and they are excited, engaged, feeling the creative spark of life within them. But their day together is coming to an end and I get a chill when I read her words--"and time is running out. Clock's breath." I want to cry. I've been feeling the pressure of clock's breath a lot lately and I'm reminded of Martin's words at a recent Enlightenment Intensive, "Time exists only in the mind." Awareness of clock's breath is an "instantaneous awakening, a tasting of the moment". Clock's Breath suffocates me, kills my creative spark. It takes me out of the moment, into time, into by mind. It's a nervous existence, hurried, never enough, overwhelming me into inertia.

Clock's Breath

A portal into the moment opens before me.

What better gift could she be offered? William, an SED fifth grader writes,
"I didn't want to say good-bye to that day."

Chapter 31 just touches me all over the place. Susan meets Paul, a man scarred by the death of his son. Susan tells him her story of re-meeting Jack, her old English teacher and he remarks, "Souls recognize each other. The passage of time is unimportant." Yes, that's right. This recognition often arrives as love at first sight. My haiku comes:

An old friend returns
We begin where we left off
And warmth surrounds us