Post Traumatic Stress. Memories of withholds, deceptions, being left out, bold soul gazing lies. I have trust issues. Abandonment issues. Old ones from you, older ones from childhood that are resurfacing after not being triggered for a long time. I hear the calling for a deeper healing of old wounds, digging out old relationship beliefs and constructs that no longer work for me.
Me going within to find the courage to have faith in you, in us, compassion for your new relationship energy and for my own fears. Wanting to be more advanced and skillful at this than I am. Wanting to rejoice in the opportunity to grow, to embrace what I've been asking for, to walk my talk. I just want to have fun here. Release the drama and loosen up. Damn, why must I always be doing deep, spiritual discovering my authentic fucking self work? The truth is though, we've been relaxing a lot. I'm actually envious I think. I want what you have. Share, with me please. Bring me in from my self inflicted cold. Make me a part of your newfound inspiration.
3 comments:
((hugs)) Sending you warm thoughts
Thank you sweethear. Hugs are very good, always, but particulary for me right now. I feel very supported with all the warm thoughts coming my way. I'm doing well.
I so admire you and all you are going through and finding your deep!! Loving you!!
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