Keep The Pussy Happy

I was just rereading my horoscope for this week:

Cancer (June 21-July 22)Use your insecurities in your own favor. You have a few, and they may be stirring you up emotionally. But you also have a depth of commitment to your creative, sexual and spiritual needs, and you're in an unusually honest state about just what those are. Keep telling yourself the truth. Admit what you want every day; go for the feeling of confessing your deepest sentiments to yourself, and every day do one thing devoted to fulfilling them.

Yes, of course I have some insecurities. I'm human. And I've been getting more and more honest about them over the years. It's been way easier to do since I've learned to drop my judgments. So yes, I definitely have my issues even though I consider myself a fairly emotionally mature and stable person. I've done a lot of work on myself over the years and I have learned the power of living in the moment and accepting life as it presents itself to me. I appreciate my ability to take responsibility for myself and allow others to be who they are, respecting their right to make the choices they make. I still go a little nuts now and again, reacting to stress in childish and ego absorbed ways but all in all I think I cope pretty well with my life most of the time.

So as I contemplate this little tidbit of wisdom and advice about using the insecurities that stir me up emotionally, this is what arises for me--

I have an insecurity of sorts that many women share that stems from something that has happened to me more than once. The scenario goes something, but not necessarily exactly, like this. I go on a date with a guy friend, we have sex, spent the night together and then part ways in the morning. After that, the time that lapses before he contacts me again is way too long. Many of my girlfriends have had experiences like this also. When you have this stunt pulled on you when you are young and insecure about your sexuality it can serve to bring up all sorts of insecurities. I've had this happen with adult men.

Now I'm willing to take on full responsibility for this insecurity although insecurity might not be the best word to describe what happens for me. Insecurity is part of it indeed. Insecurity as to me thinking, who is this man I'm getting involved with here? Part of me thinks I'm just having a healthy reaction of annoyance to what I deem as neglect on the part of the man. Because here's what I think is significant for men to understand. When a woman shares sexual energy with you, be it kissing, fucking, or what have you, she wants, and should be (if you want to stay in her good graces) acknowledged for the gift she has given you. And I'm talking about after the fact--but not too long after. It's all in the timing here. Anything less is simply not nice. How did some of these guys miss out on this in their sexual etiquette training anyway? So listen up boyfriends: You've just received a kindhearted gift from the goddess. Shewhobehot has opened herself to you. You've received her grace. Don't disappear and not contact her for days, weeks, months... Phone, email, text, chat or show up in person, no later than the very next day, letting her know that you appreciated the time the two of you spent together. How do you let her know you are appreciative? Well, you say it something like this. "I really appreciate the time we spent together yesterday. Thanks for sharing yourself with me." Very simple. If you want to get fancy, go for it. But simple works just fine. If in the morning light you realize that you don't want to go there with her again, well then say something like "Thank you for sharing yourself with me yesterday" and leave it at that. If your message needs greater explanation either in the moment or at a later date you can then let her know that you are choosing to not share with her in that manner again.

Now I know this may seem a bit sexist to some. And of course a woman is always free to contact the man in this same way. I certainly have and I do. But I'm just saying. I'm just saying because I've been encouraged by my weekly reading to do something that's devoted to confessing and fulfilling my deepest sentiments, and this is one simple little thing that I want that's related to my sexual needs. And I bet it's something that most women want. Also, blogging is one of my creative outlets and it's given me something to write about. I'll also make the point that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is related to my spiritual journey so I've just fed the three birds of my creative, sexual and spiritual needs, with one seed.

This refrain keeps coming to mind that I learned many years ago from a group of smart and sexy, 30/40 year old, polyamorous men who had a whole slew of smart and sexy women by their sides.

"Keep the pussy happy."