Opposing Sexual Preferences

I enjoyed Gillette's simple little post today titled How Not To Start A Marriage about a young married woman who has committed to live monogamously with a man who refuses to eat her pussy. This to me is one of the most obvious pitfalls of monogamy--a couple with opposing sexual preferences who basically agree to leave at least one of them sexually unsatisfied for the duration of their relationship. This holding another hostage staggers my ability to understand. It reminds me of married friend of mine who has lost her libido and refuses to have sex with her husband. Okay, I can understand her not agreeing to have sex, whatever her reason. Personally, if I was uninterested in sex I'd want to figure out why, see a sex therapist or a medical doctor to figure out how to resurrect my libido but hey, that's just me and I totally support her right to be done with sex. But what I don't support is that she expects her husband to be done with sex too. She doesn't seem to care that his libido is still surging, or care enough to reconsider their sexual arrangement. He was obviously unaware that when he committed to monogamy he was ultimately setting his cock up for early retirement but it's either that or divorce because she has made it clear that if he takes on another lover she will leave him. She's a very lovely person otherwise and there are kids--he loves his family. What the fuck?