Janus Dyad

Tomorrow I'm doing a Janus Dyad with a friend. I have some specific things I want to communicate and this is the perfect dyad communication technique for doing that. This is how it goes:

Two partners sit facing one another. One begins as the receiving partner and the other as the active partner. The receiving partner instructs/invites the active partner:
1. "Tell me something you want me to know." The active partner then shares something they want their partner to know. The receiving partner thanks them and then says:
2. "Tell me how communicating that has changed our relationship." The active partner then shares again, releasing what they first shared and now focusing on the change in the relationship. The receiving partner thanks them and instructs again:
3. "Tell me how communicating that has changed our relationship." The active partner shares again. The receiving partner thanks them and then says:
4. "Tell me how communicating that has changed our relationship." After the active partner has communicated a total of four times they reverse roles and continue back and forth like this for 40 minutes.

Dyad Communication is very powerful. It's all about connecting with another--contemplating, intending, opening and then sharing the truth. The Janus Dyad is especially powerful in creating a space of intimacy and understanding.

Check This Out

Check out Mistress Matisse's new article in Seattle's The Stranger Control Tower and Kink Calendar. It's called Poly Titles.

Surviving Mother, Jeaously, And Preparing for Burningman

I'm feeling pretty exhausted right now. It's been a long week and it's only Wednesday. Today I did a bunch of various errands and shopping trips as well as visiting my mother 3 times. The second time was when she called me to help her up after she had fallen and the third time was to help her get to her bed as she couldn't walk. Tonight I'm wondering if assisted care isn't right around the next corner.

Yesterday was about the same including a 2 hour visit at the Sprint store. My 2 month to the day new cell phone stopped working and I need to sent it off for repair. Samsung may keep it for up to two weeks. This left me with the options of going without a cell phone for the duration, purchasing another phone (the cheapest was $170.00) or finagling a free phone out of them. I got my free phone but, like I said, it was 2 hours later when I left the store. I suppose $85.00 an hour for my time was worth it.

I'm over my rampage of jealously. It's hard to stay jealous with awareness of the truth. It seems impossible to both love and fear at the same time. And although my ego would imagine that it could or even should try and control others at times, that isn't how I choose carry on in my relationships. I'm not interested in making demands of others and requests always leave the option of a no for a answer. I've found that if I'm refusing to accept a no for any answer, then I'm not really making a request of another, but rather a demand. I am not into demanding anything from anyone, least of all the people I love. It still leaves to be seen whether I will get a yes or a no to my request. I've made amends (in my mind and heart mostly, but we've talked a little too) with my friend who triggered the jealous feelings in me. I realize that I was feeling vulnerable in relation to my need for belonging, experiencing love and intimacy, attention, affection and companionship. Not that I don't have a deep sense of belonging in my life as it is, because I do in many arenas, but it's just that I'm a complicated girl with some convoluted relationships. And I'm trying to be diligent in keeping the communication of understanding clear. I want everything and I need nothing...well it's not that I don't have needs, it's just that I have everything I need. I trust that. On the other hand, I don't have everything I want...just yet. Besides--all my desires are works in progress and as soon as one is fulfilled there is always another to take it's place. It's a never ending cycle but one that I'm thoroughly enjoying, most of the time anyway.

We leave for Burningman in 11 days. Today I received my volunteer schedule for working at Sanctuary as a mental health guide/support person for those who may be having a bad trip on drugs. Monday, the same day that we arrive I have a 4 hour mandatory training and then I work a 6 hour shift on Sunday, the day before we leave.

Jealousy on the Road to Burningman

Wow. The last five days have been full. The small of my back is hurting like crazy too. That rarely happens anymore.

Spirit House was fabulous. It's this beautiful retreat center in Marin County. Several acres with goats, two dogs, a cat, fruit trees, hot tub, yurt, labyrinth, and a beautiful home that sleeps 15 plus people (with the pads in the yurt 10 or 15 more easily).

I was the Chief Monitor for my first Enlightenment Intensive. This means that my job was taking care of all the physical needs of the participants and of the space itself as well as monitoring the dyad communications. I became the fire tender as it got very cold in the yurt at night and early in the morning. This means I was up at 5:15 a.m. making a fire so everyone would be warm when they arrived at 6:15 for their first dyad of the morning. I enjoyed that a lot, making the fire in particular and being in service to others in general. We had 6 participants and 5 staff. Our two cooks were incredible so we shared some really wonderful food during our eating contemplation for those 3 days. Everyone worked hard on their questions--mostly, Who Am I? It was a very sweet Intensive. I was in an altered state by Sunday night. It was good for me to experiencing the Enlightenment Intensive from another perspective.

I arrived home yesterday and after visiting with my mother, pretty much rested for the rest of the afternoon until our daughter and her baby (Jerry's youngest daughter) showed up to visit for awhile. She's here for two weeks with our youngest grandchild and has been staying with us and her sister who lives in town. It was good seeing her and the little one.

We had pre-playa dinner with our Burningman camp mates last night, figuring out dinners and how to best arrange the camp. A new friend offered to make me a tutu with green tea leaves for Tutu Tuesday.

I was overcome with jealousy during the dinner and it was interesting for me to experience. I noticed what was going on and just witnessed the sensations. It was all about fear and me not getting what I wanted. I realized how attached I was to a particular something and when I perceived someone trying to take that away from me I didn't like it at all. I felt very threatened by another and protective. I talked with Jerry about it last night and that helped. This is not the way I choose to live. I'm pretty much back in my acceptance mode, happy to allow others to do whatever they need to do to take care of themselves but my dander is still up a bit. Grrr..."back off bitch"... It's hard when I want certain things from the people I love and get attached to them going along with my plans--wanting the same thing that I want. But dammit, other's have minds and needs of their own. Imagine that.

Some sweet wonderful friends of ours are in town and last night another group of friends got together for dinner to visit with them and we missed seeing everyone. They are stopping by this morning though and we are going to walk around town for awhile before they leave. I'm going to go make myself a soy matcha latte and clean up the house before they arrive.

Off to Spirit House

I'm sorry I haven't been writing much. I've been so incredibly busy from early morning until late at night everyday for the last week or so. Burningman preparations are still in full swing and this morning I'm leaving for Marin where I will monitor for a 3 day Enlightenment Intensive. I'm excited about this opportunity--it's my first. I'll be without internet access until I return on Monday. I'll try to have a nice post for Monday or Tuesday of next week.

I'll experiencing lots of love in my life right now.
Here's a wonderful Rumi poem from A New Illuminated Rumi ONE SONG by Michael Green for you:

If you can't wrap this love around you like a cloak at midnight, don't put on something else, go back to bed.

Let THIS LOVE run spinning through your brain. It's what holds everything together, and it's the everything too!

Without a little dancing, there is no disappearing.

Love so vast, Love the sky cannot contain. How does all this fit inside my heart?

A Haiku

My brother, Stanton, wrote this for me in 1999. It really touched me. Still does. I love him.

A Haiku:

My Sister

A mischievous child
She spurts forth a young rebel
Blossoms in spirit

Packed Full Day

The man burns in 26 days! We have Dyad Communication Evening at our house tomorrow night and then I leave to monitor for an Enlightenment Intensive on Thursday and return home on Monday. I start back to work at the college the next Monday and then six days later (20 days from today) we leave for Burningman. Wow, that's a whirlwind of activity and I have so much to get done it boggles my mind. Here are some more Burningman pictures for you.

My best friend Ren had to back out coming to Burningman with us for what was to be her "virgin burn" (first time) which was disappointing. The good news in that another friend who is also a virgin, bought her ticket and he is coming to camp with us. He is also going to carry our water this year which is a huge luxury. I have some very cool new playa clothes and our camp set up is awesome. Jerry and I spent about 3 hours in the heat on Saturday zip tying our camouflage sunscreen and making sure everything would work the way I had envisioned it. I've also volunteered to work with MAPS this year at sanctuary, which serves as a haven for people experiencing bad drug trips to take refuge.


Today was packed full of fun and craziness. First thing in the morning my daughter phoned because my mother had called her concerned because she though there was someone in her house. I called her to see what was up and indeed she told me there was a woman hiding in her back porch closet. I'm getting better at not buying into my mother's head space and taking these types of situations as emergencies and I just told her that there was no one there but that I would look in the closet to make sure when I arrived later. I gave myself a couple of hours to take care of my morning and when I arrived she was fine and upon checking I found no one in the closet. I went on with my day, met a friend for coffee and then took my mom to the doctor. On the way home we stopped at a medical supply store and bought her a lift chair because it's getting so difficult for her to lift herself out of her chair.

I saw a client and then Jerry and I watched a video of a Tatagata Tea Ceremony that my friend loaned me. It was really wonderful and inspiring as this is the tea ceremony I'm taking to the playa this year. My tea room is fabulous too! Jerry and I went and eat Thai food for dinner. Afterwards I went to my Juicy Women's Group. Waiting at the door of my office was a container full of leather scraps that my friend Sharon, who makes moccasins left for me. Soon those scraps will be transformed into some beautiful implements...

Ana entertained us with more of her sexual history and I just feel so blessed to be a part of his lovely group of juicy women. Home with Jerry now, some lovely intimate interaction and now he's reading and I'm blogging. I'm going to head off to the Burningman site before I go to sleep and read about some of this year's theme camps.

This last picture is from one of last year's theme camps, Ashram Galactica. They are a group of people mostly from L.A. I believe, although we've become friends with the chef and he lives in San Rafael. Each night last year they served two sets of 14 guests each these fantastic 7 course Morrocan meals. Jerry and I were fortunate to be invited into one of these dinners. This year I hear they are doing Tapas style. Yum, can't wait.