Saturday, February 7, 2009
Opening to love fucking hurts. Well allow me to be more specific. As I allow love to expand my heart, I notice this expansion process releases fear and then it's like a face off begin the two with me in between. I vacillate back and forth, one moment choosing love, the next moment choosing fear (which hurts). I realize how much identity investment my ego has in playing the victim. Fear is compelling. Its familiar voice beacons me. I know it well. But love is standing it's ground. No wonder the fight. My pain body feeds on fear which relies on lies for its existence. Love obliterates these lies with the truth. This is scary stuff but what's a girl to do except deal with it? Close down? I think not. That is no longer an option for me.