Written by Debbie Ford October 6, 2008
Is She a Hometown Girl or a Seductress?
...This week, like most of you, I sat glued to my TV watching the Vice Presidential debate. Within three minutes and after the first wink, I became fascinated once again with Sarah Palin. I asked myself, "What is the deal with this woman? Why is she winking at me? Is she flirting with me?" I had to take a deep breath because I noticed this queasy feeling growing in the pit of my stomach.
Then it flashed before me. I recognized her. I had met her before, in many forms, and here she was again. All of the sudden, it dawned on me that the reason I was having this reaction is because Sarah Palin is the living expression of The Seductress, one of the 20 masks, the faces of the wounded ego, that I outline in my latest book. Of course I felt disturbed -- she was working me right through my HDTV!
...I consider The Seductress a predator because her main goal is to feed on the self-esteem of others in order to soothe her own emotional wounds. The Seductress literally throws out an energetic hook by being kind, loving, interested, sexual and, in this case, folksy -- luring her victims closer, all the while planning her next move. She spends her time thinking about how she looks, how others will perceive her, how she can win, and how she can get more of what she's after. The Seductress' "catch" enhances her inner perception of herself and covers, at least for the moment, the enormous pain and self-loathing that are stored in her psyche.
In my book, "dangerous, poisonous, and venomous" are the qualities I use to describe The Seductress because her main attack is disguised in love and, in this instance, service. Her signal broadcasts in all directions, sometimes loudly and at other times as a soft whisper: "I will give you some love and take care of you if you give me your power. I am going to make you feel better about yourself if you give me some control. I am going to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear if you just make me the next Vice President of the United States of America."
Can we as a nation afford to fall under the spell of Sarah Palin and give her what she wants? I would suggest that the cost is too high for all of us. No amount of twisting ("Oh Joe you're going backwards again," she croons) will be able to distract us from who she is, what she believes, what she's really after, and what it would cost us if she and McCain are elected. This is not a beauty or a personality contest. This is not a time to pick someone because of their smile, their style, their charisma, their down-home cloak, or their biting tongue. Instead, this is a time to dissect who Sarah Palin is -- her views, her experience (or in this case her inexperience), and how she lives her life. She will, if elected the next Vice President, be a role model for our daughters, sons and future generations. We must look at her carefully, behind her smiling, cute, winking persona. We must take off her very hip glasses (not her clothes, gentlemen!) to see what's hidden there. We must ask ourselves, "Does this woman have the ability to govern the greatest nation in the world?"
Although many will argue that we must stop focusing on Palin, it's vital that we take a closer look because she is a microcosm of the narrow, outdated views of the Republican Party... let's look at her choice to use her sexuality to lure innocent voters and hearts into her web. Rather than choosing to reflect the brilliance, the smarts, the power, or the merit she must obviously possess (even if hidden from view from some of us), she winks and flirts, reinforcing all the things for which women are mocked and not taken seriously in the political arena. Can you even imagine powerful female leaders like Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, or Margaret Thatcher winking at an audience?...
The choice of Sarah Palin as a running mate tells us loud and clear what kind of man "the maverick" John McCain is. Is he someone who diligently seeks to find the best person to take his place in the unfortunate circumstance of his death? Is he the kind of man that surrounds himself with brilliant thinkers of tomorrow who promise to take us out of the dark age of war, hate, and economic disaster? Or is he the kind of hungry politician who would sell his and his nation's soul just to win? We should all take a big exhale because John McCain's shadow has been exposed. He has proven not to be the hero of our time but instead an egocentric opportunist in search of the ultimate power. In one of the most important decisions of his political career, he picked an inexperienced woman because he believed that she could help him win over the Hillary Clinton voters. We all know this. Does he really think American women are that stupid? That we can't see the motives behind this irresponsible choice?
And on a final note, if you're not convinced that she would not be the best choice, Sarah Palin told us all loud and clear Thursday night, looking straight into the camera, that the only thing that matters is that we win this war. Not that we bring our troops home safely. Not that we heal the hatred that permeates our world. She didn't speak of justice, fairness or the good of all people. Because she is a good Seductress, all she wants is to win.
My friends, we must join together to pull off the blinders for those who are sucked into the trance of this now very famous and potentially very dangerous Seductress.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Your Right To Choose--Sarah Palin Part One
This was written by Debbie Ford on Sept 11, 2008.
To read Your Right To Choose in full, click here.
Your Right to Choose
I write to you today with an open heart and a genuine concern for the future of our children. At a time when the presidential race could be seen as a pissing match between adults looking to take power, there are deeper issues -- shadow issues -- that are wanting and needing to be explored. I share my perspective with you today not so that you can align with me but so that you can dwell deeply in the issues facing our world and find the courage to speak up for what you believe even if it's unpopular to do so. I am speaking up even after someone recently wrote to me asking me to refrain from talking about politics. For me, that is like asking me to not talk about life. So today, I assert my right to free speech under the First Amendment, even if that speech is socially or politically incorrect, and I want to talk about Sarah Palin, the Vice Presidential candidate for the Republican Party.
As I've watched the Sarah Palin phenomenon unleash itself on our national airwaves, I've been thinking a lot about her, searching to find what parts of my light and what parts of my darkness she holds. The questions I always ask myself in that search are, "What are the qualities that I am seeing in this person?", "Where am I that?" and "How can I take responsibility for the parts of me that I am seeing in her?" With Sarah Palin, I find myself drawn to her -- her ability to command attention, her sheer determination to get to the top, and her sexy womanish facade that shows us we don't have to give up our sexiness to be powerful and strong in the world. On the other hand, I also find myself sickened by the thought that this woman might have the right to represent me and influence my, my family's, my community's and my country's choices...
You may not know this, but when I was 17, I found out that I was pregnant. I was devastated and scared to death. I was having sex and doing drugs out of my need to find a way to relieve my emotional pain, and I was just a lost and confused young girl. The news of my pregnancy sent me in a downward spiral. How could I have a baby when I couldn't even take care of myself? Looking back, I can only imagine how my life would have changed if I had been forced to give birth to a child I didn't want, how humiliated and embarrassed I would have felt going to school each day, how much pain I would have inflicted on a child whom I resented having in the first place. But this didn't have to happen, because fortunately, I had a mother and a country that gave me the right to CHOOSE...
I am very much a woman for women. And at a time when I would love to see a woman in power because women know how to love, nurture and care for all of their children, the cosmic paradox is that we have a woman on the ticket who wants women to go backwards in time. The issue of choice is a huge one for me because I believe this is a microcosm of who Sarah Palin is. Here is a woman who is proudly and publicly sharing that it is her family's choice to keep her daughter's baby. Yet at the same time, she is campaigning that we shouldn't have any choice. This is how the shadow works. This is where we all need to come out of the dark. Even though we're looking at one issue of this campaign, this issue is birthed out of a whole set of beliefs and a paradigm from the 20th century and before. And I think we're all aware that we're not there anymore. By looking at Sarah Palin and how her views could influence our lives and our nation, we can see into what the future could hold for us. We get to make a choice. The future is in our hands.
Denying women the right to choose is as off to me as hearing someone say that there shouldn't be gay marriage, that gay couples don't have the same rights as heterosexuals. Are we not in the 21st century? Why would we say that anymore? We used to say it out of ignorance, out of not understanding, out of denial, out of self-righteousness, but today we know that people are born with a desire to cohabitate with the same sex. We know this is not a flawed human being but a new evolution of human beings. We are changing. Have you noticed? This is the real change.
Right now, it's politically incorrect to talk about Sarah Palin's parenting, but why are they trying to mute us? It's imperative to look at the shadow here. We know that when somebody is forcing an issue or a righteous position on us, it's usually a projection of their own unconscious thoughts and feelings. On the issue of family and choices, it's clear that Sarah Palin has family issues of her own. Will she be around to care for her special needs baby? Is her daughter's teen pregnancy a cry, as it often is, for attention, care, and support? Instead of Sarah Palin forcing her family issues on all of us, maybe she should turn that attention and take care of her own family...
Finally, for those of you who think this is just more Democratic Party rhetoric, I want you to know that I am a registered Independent and I've voted Republican more times than I care to admit right now. Although I'm voting for a Democrat in this election, I don't agree with the entire Democratic Party platform and I would consider myself a centrist. I also think, by the way, that we are having too many abortions in our country. We need radical reform and education in the area of abortion. I don't think we should just leave it as it is. The number of abortions is horrific. But I certainly don't believe we should deny women the right to choose. The irony is that John McCain and the GOP platform he represents say children should be taught that abstinence until marriage is the only safe way to avoid pregnancy and disease. You've got to be kidding. If the daughter of the great state of Alaska's governor can't practice abstinence, one of her mother's core family values, how are all the other kids going to do it? Are we really not going to talk about sex, protection and sexually transmitted diseases with our kids?
In this critical time, I invite us all to look not just at Sarah Palin but all our political figures, to find the light that we might have projected, to find our own darkness, and to use what we see not to beat them up but to find a bigger voice, a voice for true change, a voice for moving forward instead of backward, a voice that respects women, all women, and all their choices.
To read Your Right To Choose in full, click here.
Your Right to Choose
I write to you today with an open heart and a genuine concern for the future of our children. At a time when the presidential race could be seen as a pissing match between adults looking to take power, there are deeper issues -- shadow issues -- that are wanting and needing to be explored. I share my perspective with you today not so that you can align with me but so that you can dwell deeply in the issues facing our world and find the courage to speak up for what you believe even if it's unpopular to do so. I am speaking up even after someone recently wrote to me asking me to refrain from talking about politics. For me, that is like asking me to not talk about life. So today, I assert my right to free speech under the First Amendment, even if that speech is socially or politically incorrect, and I want to talk about Sarah Palin, the Vice Presidential candidate for the Republican Party.
As I've watched the Sarah Palin phenomenon unleash itself on our national airwaves, I've been thinking a lot about her, searching to find what parts of my light and what parts of my darkness she holds. The questions I always ask myself in that search are, "What are the qualities that I am seeing in this person?", "Where am I that?" and "How can I take responsibility for the parts of me that I am seeing in her?" With Sarah Palin, I find myself drawn to her -- her ability to command attention, her sheer determination to get to the top, and her sexy womanish facade that shows us we don't have to give up our sexiness to be powerful and strong in the world. On the other hand, I also find myself sickened by the thought that this woman might have the right to represent me and influence my, my family's, my community's and my country's choices...
You may not know this, but when I was 17, I found out that I was pregnant. I was devastated and scared to death. I was having sex and doing drugs out of my need to find a way to relieve my emotional pain, and I was just a lost and confused young girl. The news of my pregnancy sent me in a downward spiral. How could I have a baby when I couldn't even take care of myself? Looking back, I can only imagine how my life would have changed if I had been forced to give birth to a child I didn't want, how humiliated and embarrassed I would have felt going to school each day, how much pain I would have inflicted on a child whom I resented having in the first place. But this didn't have to happen, because fortunately, I had a mother and a country that gave me the right to CHOOSE...
I am very much a woman for women. And at a time when I would love to see a woman in power because women know how to love, nurture and care for all of their children, the cosmic paradox is that we have a woman on the ticket who wants women to go backwards in time. The issue of choice is a huge one for me because I believe this is a microcosm of who Sarah Palin is. Here is a woman who is proudly and publicly sharing that it is her family's choice to keep her daughter's baby. Yet at the same time, she is campaigning that we shouldn't have any choice. This is how the shadow works. This is where we all need to come out of the dark. Even though we're looking at one issue of this campaign, this issue is birthed out of a whole set of beliefs and a paradigm from the 20th century and before. And I think we're all aware that we're not there anymore. By looking at Sarah Palin and how her views could influence our lives and our nation, we can see into what the future could hold for us. We get to make a choice. The future is in our hands.
Denying women the right to choose is as off to me as hearing someone say that there shouldn't be gay marriage, that gay couples don't have the same rights as heterosexuals. Are we not in the 21st century? Why would we say that anymore? We used to say it out of ignorance, out of not understanding, out of denial, out of self-righteousness, but today we know that people are born with a desire to cohabitate with the same sex. We know this is not a flawed human being but a new evolution of human beings. We are changing. Have you noticed? This is the real change.
Right now, it's politically incorrect to talk about Sarah Palin's parenting, but why are they trying to mute us? It's imperative to look at the shadow here. We know that when somebody is forcing an issue or a righteous position on us, it's usually a projection of their own unconscious thoughts and feelings. On the issue of family and choices, it's clear that Sarah Palin has family issues of her own. Will she be around to care for her special needs baby? Is her daughter's teen pregnancy a cry, as it often is, for attention, care, and support? Instead of Sarah Palin forcing her family issues on all of us, maybe she should turn that attention and take care of her own family...
Finally, for those of you who think this is just more Democratic Party rhetoric, I want you to know that I am a registered Independent and I've voted Republican more times than I care to admit right now. Although I'm voting for a Democrat in this election, I don't agree with the entire Democratic Party platform and I would consider myself a centrist. I also think, by the way, that we are having too many abortions in our country. We need radical reform and education in the area of abortion. I don't think we should just leave it as it is. The number of abortions is horrific. But I certainly don't believe we should deny women the right to choose. The irony is that John McCain and the GOP platform he represents say children should be taught that abstinence until marriage is the only safe way to avoid pregnancy and disease. You've got to be kidding. If the daughter of the great state of Alaska's governor can't practice abstinence, one of her mother's core family values, how are all the other kids going to do it? Are we really not going to talk about sex, protection and sexually transmitted diseases with our kids?
In this critical time, I invite us all to look not just at Sarah Palin but all our political figures, to find the light that we might have projected, to find our own darkness, and to use what we see not to beat them up but to find a bigger voice, a voice for true change, a voice for moving forward instead of backward, a voice that respects women, all women, and all their choices.
Opposing Sexual Preferences
I enjoyed Gillette's simple little post today titled How Not To Start A Marriage about a young married woman who has committed to live monogamously with a man who refuses to eat her pussy. This to me is one of the most obvious pitfalls of monogamy--a couple with opposing sexual preferences who basically agree to leave at least one of them sexually unsatisfied for the duration of their relationship. This holding another hostage staggers my ability to understand. It reminds me of married friend of mine who has lost her libido and refuses to have sex with her husband. Okay, I can understand her not agreeing to have sex, whatever her reason. Personally, if I was uninterested in sex I'd want to figure out why, see a sex therapist or a medical doctor to figure out how to resurrect my libido but hey, that's just me and I totally support her right to be done with sex. But what I don't support is that she expects her husband to be done with sex too. She doesn't seem to care that his libido is still surging, or care enough to reconsider their sexual arrangement. He was obviously unaware that when he committed to monogamy he was ultimately setting his cock up for early retirement but it's either that or divorce because she has made it clear that if he takes on another lover she will leave him. She's a very lovely person otherwise and there are kids--he loves his family. What the fuck?
Michael Franti and Spearhead : Say Hey (I love you)
For you lover.
Hey I be gone today
But I be back around the way
Seems like everywhere I go
The more I see
the less I know
But I know one thing:
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I’ve been a lot of places all around the way
I’ve seen a lot joy and I’ve seen a lot of pain
but I don’t want to write a love song for the world,
I just want to write a song about a boy and a girl...
When I saw you getting down well I hoped it was you
And when I looked into your eyes I knew it was true
I say Hey you be gone today
But you be back around the way
Seems like everywhere I go
The more I see
the less I know
But I know one thing:
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you...
I know when the stars are aligned
you can bump into person in the middle of the road
look into their eyes and you suddenly know
Rocking in the dance hall moving with you
Dancing in the night in the middle of June...
‘cause the best luck I had was you
I said Hey I be gone today
But I be back around the way
Seems like everywhere I go
The more I see the less I know
But I know one thing:
That I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you...
Swimming in the lake and moving with you
Dancing in the night in the middle of June...
I love you
I love you
I love you
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The Soothing Balm Of Compassion
I had plans on doing the annual Enlightenment Intensive at Isis Oasis this last weekend. I felt a deep need to dig into the work of enlightenment but something was off and I felt an ego resistance to going which I tried getting past it but I was simply physically done in and just couldn't bear the thought of the whole endeavor. We canceled and called Harbin for reservations. They had one room left. We packed our bags and arrived in the afternoon on Jerry's birthday. It was the oddest thing when we walked into our room and found an over sized statue of King Tut in our room...This after abandoning our Isis gig.
It was a wonderful weekend. Exactly what we needed. We soaked, read, eat yummy food, did dyads, got massages, watched a movie, walked, made love, slept, did partner yoga, watched a music/dance performance, contemplated, and soaked some more.
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The hot and cold dips took me deep into my contemplation and Kwan Yin offered her strong presence. I beseeched her with my prayer, Tell me Mother, Please Tell Me What Another Is. She rubbed the soothing balm of compassion on my aching heart. She showered me with forgiveness and it penetrated deeply to my core. I resisted as she prodded me to let go. But Mother, I cried, I don't know that I am capable of letting go. It scares me so, I pleaded. Please Mother, how can I let go of love? I knew it was a silly question. There is no letting go of love my child. You have no hold on love to begin with. Holding on to love is an illusion. Letting go is releasing the illusion. Love just is. Thank you for your patience with me Mother.
I presented myself again and again. Forgive me Mother for I have sinned. I am selfish and I believe in separateness. I have shunned Another. I have rejected my body and abandoned my children. Forgive me Mother my sins. I am weak.
I am home now, surrounded by the beauty of my intentions with a clearer vision of some valuable actions to take. And I know as I always have, that I am the one who must forgive myself.
It was a wonderful weekend. Exactly what we needed. We soaked, read, eat yummy food, did dyads, got massages, watched a movie, walked, made love, slept, did partner yoga, watched a music/dance performance, contemplated, and soaked some more.
%5B1%5D.jpg)
The hot and cold dips took me deep into my contemplation and Kwan Yin offered her strong presence. I beseeched her with my prayer, Tell me Mother, Please Tell Me What Another Is. She rubbed the soothing balm of compassion on my aching heart. She showered me with forgiveness and it penetrated deeply to my core. I resisted as she prodded me to let go. But Mother, I cried, I don't know that I am capable of letting go. It scares me so, I pleaded. Please Mother, how can I let go of love? I knew it was a silly question. There is no letting go of love my child. You have no hold on love to begin with. Holding on to love is an illusion. Letting go is releasing the illusion. Love just is. Thank you for your patience with me Mother.I presented myself again and again. Forgive me Mother for I have sinned. I am selfish and I believe in separateness. I have shunned Another. I have rejected my body and abandoned my children. Forgive me Mother my sins. I am weak.
I am home now, surrounded by the beauty of my intentions with a clearer vision of some valuable actions to take. And I know as I always have, that I am the one who must forgive myself.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Soaking & Celebrating
Happy Birthday Sweetheart. It's waffles and coffee for you and then we're off to soak in the hot springs, and make love, and soak, and dyad, and soak, and hike, and soak, and eat, and soak, and read, and soak, and massage, and soak, and do yoga, and soak, and sleep, and soak...I'm so glad you were born and that you chose me to soak with.Happy Birthday Isabel. I'll see you Sunday sweet girl.
Happy Anniversary R & K.
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