Do It For The Kids

I'm considering starting a new private blog for my kids.  All grown now, the youngest is nearly 30.  I have so many regrets as a parent, so many things I wish I would have done--done so many things I wish I wouldn't have.  Anyway, one of my newer intentions is to embrace my regrets.  I plan on making an altar to them and allowing, actually encouraging myself to grieve at this altar.  It is a way of loving my children through my grief.

I've been reading Stephen Jenkinson's book, Die Wise.  Well, I just started it and have only made it through the prelude.  My husband J and I just spent a weekend with him for a book reading/signing, showing of the documentary Griefwalker, which was about him, and then there was a 5 1/2 hour workshop, which really wasn't  a workshop so much as him talking at us. His lecture style was okay with me.  I like workshops, if they are well designed but I often get bored with group work.  I like sitting and listening to what a well learned person has to share about his knowledge, and I often grow impatient when members of the audience take up too much time listening to their own voices and requiring the rest of us to listen to them also.  Not that others don't sometimes have important and insightful things to say, it's just that I paid to hear the master, not them.  He wasn't so much into answering questions either and he made it clear that wasn't his thing.  He did take some questions and then mostly responded with whatever struck him,  rather than answering precisely if it didn't suit him. He was an interesting man, I like him and his style suited me okay.  He's also got me contemplating some deep issues and I appreciate that.